Articles

Amanda (of Britannia) came over last night and we got on the topic of love. Specifically “True Love” and “Soul Mates.” I have a complicated opinion on the topic of soul mates that provided good fodder for our conversation. Too soon we noticed it was midnight and had to say goodnight to our friend. As we were falling asleep I wondered aloud*: I’m not sure how to reconcile the seemingly antithetical views I have on what makes a relationship work. On the one hand I believe that an awesome relationship demands that both partners periodically choose to remain in the relationship. On the other hand I know that it is essential to believe, with the completeness of your being, that your love is immutable. The latter, I believe, amounts to a sacred commitment to the relationship (spoken or not). ...

Life is an Adventure. There are as many ways to experience that adventure as there are (have been, and will be) people. In the interest of creating a readable post I will now slay my own pet peeve and propose this fictional dichotomy. Imagine for a moment a world so simple that it has only two types of people. Wanderers and Planters. Each of these types are dedicated to spending their lives learning, spreading happiness, building community, making the world more beautiful, and ultimately defining their own meaning for it all. Each of them has their own distinct modality, but is one better suited to achieving the goals than the other? ...

They say that “Perfection is the Enemy of Done.” I guess I am my own worst enemy. When it comes to espresso, margaritas, and love I will not accept failure, half measure or even a half stop below perfection. I have spent years on my espresso; working and saving to buy better equipment; laboring over each shot; reading and learning wherever I could. Likewise I have spent my whole life in pursuit of love, and then in its betterment and refinement. I can be nigh obsessive about some topics. ...

I often hear of people getting hassled over their desire to do something powerful, bold, and intentional. As a result I spend more time than I should thinking about what I would say to these nay-sayers. Tonight my perfect answer gelled and I thought I would share it just in case it might help a dreamer out there. Either one of us may die tomorrow. I may be swept from the decks and drowned, you may be hit by a bus on your way to work. If I succeed I will snorkel, hike, and live truly, in paradise. If you succeed you will get to work. ...

I just got done reading Ashley Ambrige’s new e-book You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts. It’s an inspirational piece in the same vein as Chris Guillebeau’s Unconventional Guides. Both authors encourage their readers to do whatever it is that they are passionate about (though Ashley claims to be weary of the term passion). Every time I read one of these books I think, yeah, I can totally kick ass in that self motivated, self promoting, me against the big bad world way. Really, I’m perfectly wired for it… until. Until I start trying to figure out what I’m passionate about. Ashley recommends putting your passion right up in the subtitle of your blog. What I have up there is the definition of the term “forge over” which, when it comes right down to it, is probably about as close to a concise statement of passion as you are going to get from me. [UPDATE: I have changed the subtitle since this writing] When I start thinking about what I’m passionate about I get nothing but paradox. Let’s delve: ...

It seems like every few weeks someone in my professional or personal life asks me what web hosting provider they should use. My answer has been the same for a dozen years. I have my own servers, want to put your sites there for free? Now, as I set my sights on distant shores, I am preparing for a less tech-immersed life. As a result I had to go through the confusing and chaotic process of finding a web hosting provider. I started by looking for reviews. If any of you have tried this, you’ll know, 99% of all of the review sites are paid for. You can tell by the rainbow farting unicorn reviews you read on them, and the fact that their reviews are completely without nuance. I did find one review site that seemed to be less biased webhostingreviews.com. I looked at dozens of plans, including coops which I thought would be price competitive for a geek like me. ...

I’m testing using Flickr for my photo management. This is a proof of concept but I’ll keep adding photos to it if it works well. I moved the photos to after the break due to ridiculous load times (130something photos). Best of 2010

It’s the rainy season and several people have expressed curiosity regarding how we might be surviving the inevitable cabin fever. I’ve been very carefully dodging this questions because I have no experience to base my conjecture upon. This weekend we had our first substantial rainstorm (complete with thunder and lightning). As a result I can now say that we can make it two or three days without completely loosing our minds. You may however opt to disagree after watching the following video (after the break)

At the risk of overdoing the videos a bit, I will now share Ruby’s First Bike Ride (without training wheels). Yesterday was just such a huge day for her that I had to document and publicize her accomplishments. This morning I broke the news to her that she was going to have to do her own blogging from now on. “Ruby, do you remember what blogging is?” “Yup. But if I’m going to do it, I’ll need my own computer” ...

Say hello to a stranger on the street. If they look interesting and willing to chat walk with them up the block. Tucker met Andrea in Vermont many years ago this way and we had such a great time with her. Make friends with a friend of a friend. You see someone at a friend’s party and then the next one and so on. At some point, have dinner with the friend of the friend and see what happens. ...

Somehow music and song lyrics have worked their way into my life again after many years. The sleep deprivation of having young children has nearly faded (now that both of them sleep through the night most of the time) and I’m able to pay closer attention to the world around me. Tucker has been playing the song The Gambler by Fun lately. We were barely eighteen when we crossed collective hearts. ...

Fifteen years ago today Victoria drove a borrowed truck, with her limited possessions into Brattleboro, Vermont to join me on what would be our first, longest, and most significant adventure together. I can still feel the crisp chill of the pre-winter air as I chatted nervously with one of the local crazies and awaited her arrival. Separated by hundreds of miles, without money or transportation, our relationship had just barely survived what we now know to have been its darkest hour. In the weeks preceding her arrival we had actually split up. Our friends, family, and advisors were in accord that our love was destined for disaster. We knew with unflappable, unassailable conviction that there was something about the other that we needed to explore, to know, and to grow from. This confidence and desire to grow together, it turns out, has been the foundation of our relationship. ...

We ran into Carl early on Sunday morning and confirmed that they would be heading off on their great adventure later that day. We were planning to go sailing too, and agreed to see them off. I had seen Chris and Lisa working on their Ranger 26 earlier in the morning, and we decided to invite them to come along. The day started wonderfully. There was just a puff of air but the sky was blue, the clouds were high and the conversation was easy and light. Around the end of the Berkeley Pier both boats decided to motor until the wind returned. We got just past Treasure Island when we decided we had enough to sail on. By Alcatraz we had about 20º of heel and Convivia was lively and quick. ...

One of my favorite pre-vacation practices is to intentionally lower my expectations. I contend that I am due a single 15-60 minute “moment of bliss” somewhere in a 2+ week vacation, and if I can get that I consider the experience a success. These moments of bliss generally take the form of reading a great book in the sun on a day with light breeze. On this last vacation I got two moments of bliss. The first (which happened twice) was when the kids were playing happily in the cabin. Vick and I were sitting in the cockpit drinking coffee, and Convivia was sailing herself under nearly perfect conditions. The second was when I took the kids to Shorebird Park to play while Vick went to the store. Both kids were having trouble with relationships. I saw at least a dozen problems at the moment before they flared up. Somehow I managed to use just the right intervention every time and their conflicts effortlessly catalyzed into new friendships and joyful spirit. I was in a zone, writing a symphony of play with them and I couldn’t have been happier or felt more accomplished. ...