Family on Forgeover

Days to Remember

Fri, 01 Jul 2016 08:10:43 +0000

A few days ago I was told that my dorades were dusty. The next day another person mentioned how dirty my decks were. And yet another person asked me why I had so much crap in my cockpit. All of these criticisms hit me deeply and personally and brought back every single boat insult ever slung my way. I emotionally fled to a perfectly polished tiny cottage where I could live alone in shiny silence with a hand blown glass vase full of pink peonies on the table and not a single crumb on the floor.

Yard Dog's Christmas

Mon, 21 Dec 2015 01:11:21 +0000

We have been in the boat yard for two weeks now. Things are moving along at the expected pace (slower than I would hope, but reasonable for this oppressive climate). The boat is covered, and has its first coat of primer. The propeller shaft is off, the old swim ladder (which has been held captive by the Monitor for years now) is being removed and welded over. While we have the hull exposed, we are also adding glass around the keel (about 6mm at the widest point) and removing some blisters.

I Want to See Dragons for My Birthday

Thu, 08 Oct 2015 07:35:55 +0000

We take birthday wishes seriously in Convivia. We keep presents small and homemade, as the real celebration is in the cake. Cakes are dreamed up layer by layer, often years in advance. Olive wishes for her eighth birthday were a stuffed mouse, a watch, pizza for dinner, and a caramel, chocolate, marshmallow and chocolate ganache layer cake. All of her wishes seemed totally reasonable thanks to my mom sending a birthday watch to us before we even left Brisbane. I had a stuffed mouse pattern on board, along with fabric and stuffing. I stowed a stash of Belgian chocolate under my bed in June and in Darwin I packed into my teeny tiny fridge the cream, butter, and mozzarella necessary for the big day. Somewhere along the way Olive decided on a bigger wish, “I want to see dragons on my birthday.”

Dad Moments

Fri, 07 Aug 2015 20:56:13 +0000

Parenting is *hard.*I still find myself waking up at night to tend to bad dreams, or bug bites, and there’s the constant sibling squabbles, and, with us, homeschooling battles. That’s not to mention the challenges of ushering our kids through their self-identification. I have noticed, several times over the busy few years past, that I haven’t really been focusing on those moments that make parenting awesome.

On Lizard Island, we got our first real break of this leg of passage making. We snorkeled, and hiked and spent time together having fun. It really frustrated me that Olive wouldn’t get in the water. We know she can swim, and she is excited about her new wetsuit and mask, but she just wouldn’t take the plunge. Then one afternoon, after getting really upset about it, she and I were playing in the shallows and I started acting like godzilla, stomping and grunting, and she pretended to fight me. After a little of this horsing around, I asked her if she would like me to teach her something. She agreed, and we got her mask. I showed her how to clear her snorkel and how to put it on underwater. She was really good, and I let her know. She was visibly proud, and something changed in her. We spent the next hour or two snorkeling in the shallows and now she asks constantly when we will get another chance.

Cruising Again

Wed, 08 Jul 2015 05:42:45 +0000

We were waiting for a bus to take us somewhere and Vick looked at me and said “It’s kind of amazing, we just took off and now we are cruisers again. Heading off, looking for beaches or towns to explore, no real destinations…” It was clear that she expected it to take some reacclimation to get back into the swing of this. I remarked that I thought the ease of transition was because cruising is our natural state, and all the other things are what we have to do in order to make cruising possible.

Community

Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:48:00 +0000

From time to time, in the course of my travels, people have asked me about “home.” By this they usually mean the USA in general or one of the specific places I’ve lived. When I talk about the good things, I almost always start and end with community. I tend to describe (my) New England as a place where community is valued highly, and then give specific examples of the types of activities that illustrate this value. The coffee social we organized when we lived Mountain View was one common example, but this New Year’s Eve will be my new favorite (if I can find a way to encapsulate it).

Lyman Family Christmas: In Photos

Sun, 28 Dec 2014 18:39:59 +0000

We celebrated a late Christmas with Vick’s side of the family at her mom’s home. Despite our host getting sick at the last moment, it was a wild success, complete with two rounds of Cards Against Humanity for the bravest of the lot.

A (pseudo) Tourist in the Bay Area

Mon, 22 Dec 2014 15:27:53 +0000

Our trip to the Bay Area was surreal. We had the pleasure of staying with our Framily (the Logans). Their home feels like our home, even though they had only just moved in when we moved away. So much of our old community vibe lives there, that it was like stepping back into routine. And unlike our family, theirs is supremely tranquil. We also had the good fortune to connect with a few old and seriously dear friends, strengthening relationships that have been mostly on hold since we left.

Native Culture Shock

Wed, 03 Dec 2014 08:11:49 +0000

I’ve been meaning to sit down and put my thoughts to words for a week now. Arriving in the United States after 3 years abroad was certain to be a bit of a transition. This long separation is compounded by the nature of my lifestyle: the constantly shifting landscape (literally and metaphorically); the unique challenges of a life at sea; establishing myself for life and work in a (not so, but still) foreign country; and the very real fact that I have, over the past 3 years, manifested a life that is as close to my personal ideal as one can get while still balancing the needs and desires of three other individual beings.

The Best Thanksgiving Ever

Fri, 28 Nov 2014 13:26:05 +0000

Thanksgiving is the best holiday ever invented. Full. Stop. Granted it may come from questionable roots, but what it has become to my family and friends, is a holiday centered around gratitude, relationships, and gluttonous consumption of delectable foods. For a family that has named its home and lifestyle Convivia (a party centered around food and friends), it stands to reason that this holiday would be significant, and for me it is doubly so.

Olive Turns 7: A Parenting Win

Sat, 11 Oct 2014 04:18:14 +0000

It’s not an unfamiliar scene on Convivia. It’s the night before a present giving event, and Vick and I are wondering if we should run out and get one or two more things. “We have Ruby’s presents (the most substantial expenditures this year at $24), and my 6” handmade felt pterodactyl, and… that’s it."

Our cultural programming was going haywire. I pretty much assume that a birthday or christmas is going to run ~$300/kid when it’s all said and done. Was this going to be the worst birthday ever?

Another Post About How Awesome Brisbane is (i know…)

Fri, 25 Apr 2014 02:34:07 +0000

So this just popped up in our back yard. It’s been behind a fence for months now, slowly coming to form. I didn’t pay much attention but today I took the kids over there so Vick could have some space to put the boat back together after last weekend. This is what I discovered.

And some genius solved a problem I had never even acknowledged was a problem. You know those noise makers that they sometimes have at playgrounds. The ones you want your kids to play because it seems indicative of an interest in music, until you realize it’s just their normal desire to make as much noise as possible.

Tangalooma Easter Weekend Photots (part 1)

Fri, 18 Apr 2014 15:51:22 +0000

Photos after the break

The Sailing Me

Fri, 18 Apr 2014 10:44:22 +0000

“I wish everyone who knew me could know the sailing me!”

I posted this on Facebook today. It was one of those thoughts that popped into my head ready to publish, and didn’t require a lot of fact checking. As the day passed though, I found myself coming back to that thought. What makes the sailing me noteworthy, why do I prefer it to the geeky me, or the business me, or the city slicker me?

Sliding in Sideways…

Thu, 26 Sep 2013 03:38:01 +0000

I’ve found myself having rather candid conversations about our finances lately. Inevitably I find myself saying “we’re skidding sideways into each paycheck.” Indeed last month we made it across the line by searching pockets for laundry money. It would, if I were inclined to look at it that way, be a realization of one of my worst pre-cruising fears.

Over the last week I conducted an informal survey of cruiser friends on Facebook. Of the 16 respondents 10 cited money as one of (if not the most significant) reasons that people fail to launch their cruising dreams. In About the Crew I described how we chose to throw financial responsibility to the wind, and I thought it suiting that I take a minute to let you know how that all shook out.

July - August In Photos

Fri, 09 Aug 2013 16:34:53 +0000

A Laundry Tour of the South Pacific

Wed, 07 Aug 2013 05:07:14 +0000

A reader on a women’s sailing group I’m part of asked if it was possible to sail the South Pacific without washing laundry in a bucket. Laundry was much harder for me than being on a boat for 24 days straight, cooking underway, or seasickness, and something I stressed out about far more than the weather, ships, or squalls. I got over my stress about laundry by finding other people, and sometimes machines, to do my washing for me. It was expensive and it was worth it.

School Holiday

Sat, 13 Jul 2013 18:25:47 +0000

School Holiday is our family’s newest novelty. Vick braved the first week (of two) on her own. It was cold and rainy and they spend a lot of time baking and visiting the museums. By the end of the first week though (despite heroic displays of positivity) it was getting pretty clear that if we the three of them spent the next week on the boat, in the rain, it was not going to be a good scene. We consider ourselves to be pretty stout, flexible cruiser types. When the condensation gets so thick that it starts collecting as drops on the overheads, we grin and bear it. But this wet season seems to have started when we arrived in Australia and 7 months later, is still going strong.

And Just Like That She's Nine

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 03:05:25 +0000

The count down to birthdays happens early with Ruby. She counts the months, the weeks, the days. She plans her cake, remembers the ones that have come before, and has a pending list of the cakes for three future birthdays. She knows that she has about 50 weeks now to finalize the next one. So, as with every year, she invented and confirmed the cake, dug out the party flags and invited her friends.

Holding Hands

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:15:54 +0000

I was fortunate to have a pretty amazing/progressive sexual education. When I was an early teen I participated in a program called AYS (About Your Sexuality) that my church put on. You can read the wikipedia article for a slightly jaded synopsis of the curriculum, but for me it provided all of the information that I needed to take it real slowly, sexually speaking.

As a result while most of my guys friends were losing their virginity, I was kissing and holding hands. I got really good at it. In fact I got so good at it that I had an entire (2 week) relationship once that centered around (shall we say) erotic hand holding. Twenty something years later I find that I still get a charge from it.

Goodnight Cruise

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 11:38:31 +0000

It is time to bid farewell to the star filled night sky, to the meteor showers, to the dolphins that scared the crap out of me on night watch. I am just settling in to my last chocolate watch (the salty watch is 8-12, 3-6 is for chocolate); in a few hours the sun will come up and we will line up for the first of several channels that will bring us to our new home.

Everything Old is New Again

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 15:04:49 +0000

We’ve visited four of Vanuatu’s beautiful islands. We’re now in Port Vila experiencing the touristy city life, with ridiculous cover bands playing loudly on the harbor’s edge, gift shops filled with Chinese made souvenirs, and inappropriately dressed tourist girls. While I love our access to the waterfront showers, the delicious juice bar, and the amazing produce market, this is a scene that could be experienced in any country. Where we’ve come from in Anelcauhat, Aneityum and Port Resolution, Tanna, is another world, a world I’m so grateful to have seen.

Ruby's First year of Cruising

Fri, 05 Oct 2012 02:08:10 +0000

This week we had a wonderful opportunity to reflect on our first year of cruising. A mother on a group that we belong to asked for suggestions for a reluctant soon-to-be-cruising 7 year old. We mentioned it to Ru and asked if she would like to write a letter to this girl and she jumped at the chance. Here’s what she said:

My name is Ruby. I am 8 years old and have been cruising for a year. I left from San Francisco a year ago today with my mom and dad and little brother. I heard that you might be a little worried about cruising and I want to let you know that it is really awesome.

Flyin' Through Fiji

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 02:27:48 +0000

As we made our way across the Pacific we were perpetually asking “can we spend a little more time here?” After ~10 years of putting off today’s desires in favor of tomorrow’s dream it was finally time to say “Yes, why not!” The down side to this was that we knew that every extra day we spent in today’s paradise would be borrowed from tomorrow’s. You can only defer for so long before the cyclone threat starts making your choices for you.

Last Days in Tonga

Thu, 20 Sep 2012 14:55:08 +0000

The Possibilities Are Endless

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 01:01:02 +0000

When I heard Zinnia was planning to move to Penrhyn I thought to myself, her mother may never see her again. And I thought that my children may end up moving to a place somewhere in the world, a place so remote that Lonely Planet only has five sentences to say about it.

Stretching Our Legs

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 20:39:17 +0000

The idea was to get off the boat and stretch our legs. We had been to swim with the rays the day before, but that doesn’t really count. Our feet hadn’t touched land in a few days and we thought a little walk would do us good. The Mo’orea Agricultural Center looked like it was close to the head of the cove we were anchored in, so we hailed Wondertime and met at the beach in our dinghies.

The Frankenfold Myth

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 01:54:25 +0000

When I talk about our time in Papeete (Tahiti) I am inclined to describe it as all work and no play. When one is bogged down with projects like the Frankenfold (a.k.a the mainfold from hell), it is easy to forget that much fun has also been had. So before elaborating further on All The Fun® allow me to describe this particular bit of boat owner’s misery.

Frankenfold

Convivia has had numerous small fresh water leaks since we bought her. These have been dealt with more or less as they came up, and along the way I have even managed to improve on the system. On passage we started to develop a leak at the kitchen faucet, the location and disposition of which made it very difficult to fix. The short term solution was to decommission the faucet. Plumbing then took top priority on my project list. I had plenty of time to think about how best to address the situation. I wanted to remedy the existing problem and also make a substantial improvement to the overall stability of our ship’s pressurized water system. Ultimately this would have meant removing all of the hose and replacing it with Sea Tech hose. This being the middle of nowhere, I was not holding out of that. Plan B was to replace as many of the nylon fittings as I could and add a manifold as close to the pump as possible. After several (though it seemed like several hundred) trips to several hardware and marine stores, I was able to get all of the part together and complete the project. The result (as seen below) is not beautiful, but it works and solves a problem that would have been inevitable had I not taken the time.

Fakarava: First Days (in Photos)

Sat, 26 May 2012 01:35:36 +0000

I’m still catching up with my thoughts on Fakarava. The passage was too short to properly transition from the fierce rugged beauty of the Marquesas to the low, almost delicate Tuamotus. Our first night on Fakarava was spent catching up with long lost friends from Estrellita. The next day was spent snorkeling and watching the kids learn how to swim on the beach in front of the White Sands Resort.

This place is just too… much. I’ll let the pictures do the rest of the talking and I’ll try to be more articulate in my next post.

Photos From Tahuata and Ua Pou

Fri, 04 May 2012 20:04:32 +0000

I fear I may sound like a broken record if I continue to extol the many virtues and superlatives of these remote, exotic, and vibrant islands. So rather than continue along that path, I will just share a few photos of our time in Tahuata (where we got the tattoos) and Ua Pou (where live the friendliest people in the Marquesas). Hopefully these varied snapshots will capture the essence of our last 2 weeks in a way that words can’t.

The most beautiful place

Wed, 02 May 2012 23:49:49 +0000

Four days after making landfall on Hiva Oa we sailed into Baie Hanavave on Fatu Hiva, the most beautiful place I have ever seen. It is the most beautiful place I can even imagine. The hills are high and covered with a hundred colors of green. Palm trees lean toward the ocean cliffs. The grassy areas are dotted with mountain goats. The sky is a dark blue, heavy with mist, and threatens to explode into a squall or a rainbow. I wonder if rainbows are overlooked here. I can’t find a local person that can tell me what they’re called in French or Marquesan.

The things we do in Mexico

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 09:36:44 +0000

When we left California we knew that we’d have to lower our standards in certain ways. We left our carseats behind, sold our bike helmets, and stepped out of Whole Foods.

We got to Mexico and ate ceviche, with salsa, from a street side vendor. When we order water at a restaurant we don’t worry if it comes from a bottle or a glass.

We’ve accepted rides in cars without carseats. We’ve taken rides in taxis without seat belts. We once waited for a bus so long we got in a delivery truck in the front seat, with no seat belts, with a stranger.

Anatomy of a Passage

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 06:00:52 +0000

We just sailed from Yelapa, which must be blogged with photos, to Bahia Chamela, about 90 miles south. Ninety miles requires an overnight passage for us, which it turns out, we all love. The winds and seas in Mexico have made for very easy and comfortable sailing (and unfortunately a bit of motoring when the winds die completely). We left our anchorage at noon so that our arrival would be during daylight. The boat was ship shape, the heads cleaned, the floors swept, every last thing put away, and even fresh baked bread before we left. Maybe passage making is so wonderful for me because all the chores are done first!

FAQ #4: Packed In Like Sardines

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 06:00:44 +0000

Q: What are some of the best things about traveling in close quarters with your family?

A: I get this question phrased in many ways. The most generous and upbeat of which is reflected above in a question from my friend Penny. Other, less positive variations include “Don’t you ever just want to get away.” or “You are so brave” or “I bet you want to throw them overboard sometimes.”

Giving Thanks

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 18:11:31 +0000

The Crew of Convivia has so much to be thankful for. Amongst those:

Our health
Enough wealth that we can afford to be together all the time
Enough love, patience, wisdom that we would want to be together all the time
The realization of a lifelong dream
This wonderful floating home
The support and love of our families and friends
A wonderful, diverse, and supportive cruising community (both near and far)
Thanksgiving in a climate that demands we wear swimwear to dinner

Reflecting on the overwhelming bounty of our life is a daily, or at least weekly occurrence lately, but on this day I observe our good fortune in the context of 36 previous days of Thanksgiving. I have never, on this day, felt anything less than a heart full of gratitude. If a heart full is the yardstick by which such things are measured though, I must surely have grown another heart this year.

Thank You!

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 08:57:59 +0000

They say no man is an island and as we embark on this adventure—replete with our water maker, mini solar farm, new high tech rigging, etc—I feel it is appropriate to acknowledge and give thanks to all the people who helped us get here.

As a knowledge worker, my ability to fund this trip came from an excellent education. The formal education I received was one of the best in the world, but my parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents all contributed to developing my intense curiosity, troubleshooting skills, and general competencies. Without these skills, and the reassurance that I could do anything that I set my mind to, I would never have been able to contemplate such an outrageous undertaking.

Maine Vacation 2011 in Photos

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 16:50:41 +0000

This photo roundup covers the going away party and a few other highlights. Enjoy

…Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Sat, 03 Sep 2011 11:22:42 +0000

There is just nothing like a small New England Town. I am sitting in a coffee shop in Damariscotta Maine. This particular coffee shop is attached to a book store. The book store, though relocated, is the same one that got me hooked on reading as a kid. The first memory I have of reading is a summer memory. It was June or July and we were staying at my grandparents’ cottage. I tore through the ancient Hardy Boys anthology that seemed to have been read by generations of Bradford boys. When I got through with the last one a peculiar melancholy overtook me. My mother, wise parent that she is, took me into town to the Maine Coast Bookstore and introduced me to Ewan Walker, the owner. He asked me a few questions and started to recommend books.

Family Time in Maine

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 11:11:21 +0000

Our summer visits home to Midcoast Maine have always been transformative and inspiring. Slowing our pace and enjoying time together as a family reminds us how life is meant to be and helps us to refocus our energy on things that matter most to us. This trip, as short as it is, has been no different. Already we have been talking about possible change of itinerary, and certainly thinking of as many ways to return to this idyllic spot as we can. The future is as uncertain as ever, but being here reminds us to be mindful of the present.

Victoria's 35th Birthday: Day Date

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 22:35:38 +0000

Our friend Merileigh gave me a “day date” last month for my birthday. We had a little trouble finding a weekend that was open, but it turned out that Victoria’s birthday worked for everyone. We dropped Merileigh and the kids off at the California Academy of Science around noon and then drove to the Ferry Building to kick off our date. We ate a wonderful lunch at the Slanted Door and then grabbed coffee at Blue Bottle before heading around to our favorite shops for treats.

Nautical Craftiness aboard Convivia

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 19:50:13 +0000

Years ago I stenciled a sailboat and an anchor onto shirts for Ruby and Olive. I wanted to make updated shirts for them one day so I ended up moving onto the boat with a stamp carving kit and some fabric paint. I planned to carve an anchor onto my stamp so that I could print onto fabric and notecards over and over again. A sailor friend of mine was expecting a little girl and so the inspiration and count down began.

Ship's Log: 4th of July Weekend, 2011

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 22:50:27 +0000

I’ve found, time and again, that no plan is the best plan. This weekend was a perfect proof of that theory. On Friday night we still didn’t know where we were going. Would we go back to our old tried and true anchorage (Horseshoe Cove) or brave the sail-in-sail-out anchorage at Aquatic Park? Would we prioritize getting a good view of the fireworks, shoreside activities, or visiting with friends? As it turns out, we managed all three.

Farewell to NBOG

Mon, 23 May 2011 15:26:57 +0000

This weekend we attended our last NBOG event. NBOG or Nature Based Ongoing Group, is a small community of home-schoolers and their families who strive to teach their children awareness and respect for the interdependence and interconnection of all life. In addition to being a wonderful community for Ruby NBOG has provided us with an amazing group of likeminded parents. Saying goodbye was much harder than any of us expected.

Easter Sunday in Photos

Sun, 24 Apr 2011 22:19:51 +0000

This low grade cold is demanding I go to bed, but I wanted to get at least some account of our Easter experience up before the day was over.

Boat Show — Day 2

Sun, 17 Apr 2011 21:55:17 +0000

What an exhausting, fulfilling, and significant weekend. We purchased all of our major safety systems this weekend, and deferred the water maker for another day. We got the kids to sit for at least 20 minutes of Zac Sunderland’s talk and Ruby even admitted that she wanted to hear more (but just couldn’t sit still). We saw 2 boats (a Lagoon 400, and a Morris 36) and completely lucked into getting a free, two hour ride (with marine biology mini-class) sail on the 82’ steel schooner Seaward.

Backpacking with Ruby

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 22:09:46 +0000

Way back in 2009 I promised Ruby that I would take her backpacking. She had forgotten for a while and I will admit that in the flurry of buying our dreamboat, selling all of our stuff, and moving aboard, I was happy for the furlough. Recently the topic came up again. First it was just “Daddy, do you remember that camping trip we were supposed to go on?” Before too long it turned into crying tantrums with doozies such as “You promised me you would take me hiking when I was just TWO (or three) and you’re never going to do it.” With our family adventure deadline looming, I feared she might be right.

Ship's Log: April 2-3 — Horseshoe Cove

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 22:24:39 +0000

“Olive, what was your favorite part of today?”

“Anchoring out. Don’t you think it’s everyone’s favorite part? I bet everyone in the world loves anchoring out.”

We almost didn’t anchor here. The Cruising Guide to San Francisco Bay, had more caveats than usual for this anchorage— Don’t even attempt if it’s foggy; you might get sucked right out the gate as you approach; the Coast Guard won’t take nicely to your presence on their side of the anchorage; etc.. After calling ahead (another recommendation from the guide) we were told that we were more than welcome to anchor, but there was a lot of surge, a few other people had called that day, and there was a pile of flotsam tied to a mooring out in the middle of the harbor that they were worried might work itself loose. But sure, come on down.

Cabin Fever Relieved

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 08:10:52 +0000

Sunday’s plan was to take the kids on a hike while Vick got some stuff done around the boat. Around 10:30 I got the kids dressed for the day and up to the car. Sitting in the parking lot looking out at the storm clouds moving over the Bay, I suggested to the kids that maybe today wasn’t the best day for a hike. We decided the the California Academy of Science was a safer bet and drove in to San Francisco for a day of museuming fun.

Childhood Experiences… Missing

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 02:00:11 +0000

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the kids’ childhoods will differ from their contemporaries as a result of this wild adventure we’re about to embark upon. Ruby understands that there are many things we will be giving up to go sailing around the world but I don’t think she’s got the context to understand it fully yet. The following are some of the experiences that Ruby and Olive might never share with their peers.

Courage & Sparkle

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 22:55:51 +0000

“Mom, can we read a story about someone who knows something is scary or hard and does it anyway?” Ruby and I have been reading from “Bringing Out Their Best: Values Education and Character Development through Traditional Tales,” by Norma J. Livo. The book is organized in groups of stories about love, responsibility, compassion, cooperation and more. In it are traditional stories from around the world written in the most basic way with no embellishment and no pictures or illustrations. I know that Ruby can’t be told what to do or how to act but I’m pretty sure that she can learn these values through story telling. Tonight we read about perseverance.

20 Things You Might Not Know About Me

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 12:55:11 +0000

I was just updating my privacy settings on Facebook and found this Note from a year ago yesterday. I have played exactly two of these “games” on Facebook and this is the one that I took seriously. I decided to repost it here, today, partly because I think it’s neat that I wrote it a year ago (almost exactly) and partly because I think I would write pretty much the same thing today. Also, as I mention in the list, I long to be undersood.

hellO 2011

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 14:43:38 +0000

2010 was an amazing year. Among the many significant milestones were our first family cruise, the purchase of our dreamboat, the jettisoning of most of our worldly possessions to move on to said dreamboat, lost teeth, first bike rides and first ocean passage. Our transition to boat life, despite it’s smells, minimalism, and tight quarters has created a stronger, happier, more cooperative family than we had on land. 2010 looked like a very hard act to follow.

Merry Christmas from s/v Convivia

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 21:15:49 +0000

Our family doesn’t have a strong Christmas tradition. A couple of years ago we celebrated Christmas and a birthday with friends. Last year we opened presents, ate breakfast, and jumped into the car for a big drive to Los Angeles for a week long sailing trip. This year we stayed home on our boat and enjoyed spending time with friends and neighbors in our marina.

We decorated Convivia with Waldorf paper stars, white lights, and ornaments on the inside; bought, decorated, and redecorated a tiny tree that fit nicely in the middle of the table; cut dozens of paper snowflakes; lit a peppermint scented candle; and enjoyed the company of our friends in the days leading up to Christmas.

The Relationship Paradox

Thu, 23 Dec 2010 20:18:01 +0000

Amanda (of Britannia) came over last night and we got on the topic of love. Specifically “True Love” and “Soul Mates.” I have a complicated opinion on the topic of soul mates that provided good fodder for our conversation. Too soon we noticed it was midnight and had to say goodnight to our friend. As we were falling asleep I wondered aloud*:

I’m not sure how to reconcile the seemingly antithetical views I have on what makes a relationship work. On the one hand I believe that an awesome relationship demands that both partners periodically choose to remain in the relationship. On the other hand I know that it is essential to believe, with the completeness of your being, that your love is immutable. The latter, I believe, amounts to a sacred commitment to the relationship (spoken or not).

Perfection vs. Done

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 07:27:59 +0000

They say that “Perfection is the Enemy of Done.” I guess I am my own worst enemy. When it comes to espresso, margaritas, and love I will not accept failure, half measure or even a half stop below perfection. I have spent years on my espresso; working and saving to buy better equipment; laboring over each shot; reading and learning wherever I could. Likewise I have spent my whole life in pursuit of love, and then in its betterment and refinement. I can be nigh obsessive about some topics.

Dreamers and Naysayers

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 22:09:50 +0000

I often hear of people getting hassled over their desire to do something powerful, bold, and intentional. As a result I spend more time than I should thinking about what I would say to these nay-sayers. Tonight my perfect answer gelled and I thought I would share it just in case it might help a dreamer out there.

Either one of us may die tomorrow. I may be swept from the decks and drowned, you may be hit by a bus on your way to work. If I succeed I will snorkel, hike, and live truly, in paradise. If you succeed you will get to work.

Who Am I?

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 20:51:36 +0000

I just got done reading Ashley Ambrige’s new e-book You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts. It’s an inspirational piece in the same vein as Chris Guillebeau’s Unconventional Guides. Both authors encourage their readers to do whatever it is that they are passionate about (though Ashley claims to be weary of the term passion). Every time I read one of these books I think, yeah, I can totally kick ass in that self motivated, self promoting, me against the big bad world way. Really, I’m perfectly wired for it… until.

The Paper Bag Princess: A Play in One Act

Mon, 22 Nov 2010 17:27:58 +0000

It’s the rainy season and several people have expressed curiosity regarding how we might be surviving the inevitable cabin fever. I’ve been very carefully dodging this questions because I have no experience to base my conjecture upon. This weekend we had our first substantial rainstorm (complete with thunder and lightning). As a result I can now say that we can make it two or three days without completely loosing our minds. You may however opt to disagree after watching the following video (after the break)

Ruby's First Bike Ride

Mon, 22 Nov 2010 13:00:00 +0000

At the risk of overdoing the videos a bit, I will now share Ruby’s First Bike Ride (without training wheels). Yesterday was just such a huge day for her that I had to document and publicize her accomplishments. This morning I broke the news to her that she was going to have to do her own blogging from now on.
“Ruby, do you remember what blogging is?”
“Yup. But if I’m going to do it, I’ll need my own computer”

Ruby Takes to the Sky

Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:36:07 +0000

So glad I'm here

Thu, 18 Nov 2010 21:31:02 +0000

Somehow music and song lyrics have worked their way into my life again after many years. The sleep deprivation of having young children has nearly faded (now that both of them sleep through the night most of the time) and I’m able to pay closer attention to the world around me. Tucker has been playing the song The Gambler by Fun lately.

We were barely eighteen when we crossed collective hearts.

15 Years

Thu, 18 Nov 2010 20:33:16 +0000

Fifteen years ago today Victoria drove a borrowed truck, with her limited possessions into Brattleboro, Vermont to join me on what would be our first, longest, and most significant adventure together. I can still feel the crisp chill of the pre-winter air as I chatted nervously with one of the local crazies and awaited her arrival.

Separated by hundreds of miles, without money or transportation, our relationship had just barely survived what we now know to have been its darkest hour. In the weeks preceding her arrival we had actually split up. Our friends, family, and advisors were in accord that our love was destined for disaster. We knew with unflappable, unassailable conviction that there was something about the other that we needed to explore, to know, and to grow from. This confidence and desire to grow together, it turns out, has been the foundation of our relationship.

Lowered Expectations

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 13:27:34 +0000

One of my favorite pre-vacation practices is to intentionally lower my expectations. I contend that I am due a single 15-60 minute “moment of bliss” somewhere in a 2+ week vacation, and if I can get that I consider the experience a success. These moments of bliss generally take the form of reading a great book in the sun on a day with light breeze.

On this last vacation I got two moments of bliss. The first (which happened twice) was when the kids were playing happily in the cabin. Vick and I were sitting in the cockpit drinking coffee, and Convivia was sailing herself under nearly perfect conditions. The second was when I took the kids to Shorebird Park to play while Vick went to the store. Both kids were having trouble with relationships. I saw at least a dozen problems at the moment before they flared up. Somehow I managed to use just the right intervention every time and their conflicts effortlessly catalyzed into new friendships and joyful spirit. I was in a zone, writing a symphony of play with them and I couldn’t have been happier or felt more accomplished.

Photo Highlights: Santa Cruz Cruise

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 15:41:22 +0000

Home

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 23:46:45 +0000

I wasn’t at home when we were tied into slip A58 in Monterey Harbor. I was homesick. Surprising yes, since I was on my own boat, tied up with my usual dock lines, cooking in my own galley, and sleeping in my own bed. I spent my time in Monterey constantly checking the three forecast areas on NOAA to find our perfect weather window to head north. Again, I was surprised at myself. The trip north is usually hard, wet, and cold. Our boat is in great shape and we could actually (foolishly) cash in Tucker’s retirement accounts and head south for at least a year. I always want to go south, or anywhere warmer than wherever I am. But I wanted to go north, to go home.

September's End in Photos

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 22:17:11 +0000

Olive Takes a Shot

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 20:05:04 +0000

Just you know, he insisted on doing this. It was completely unprompted.

Knock Knock

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 16:00:13 +0000

Olive: “Knock Knock”

Me: “Who’s there?”

Olive: “Banana”

Me: “Banana Who”

Olive: “Aren’t you glad I didn’t say Orange?”

At this point I’m thinking, at least he got the right fruit in there but Olive scrunches up his forehead as I fake laugh and says “Daddy what’s the real joke?” So I decided to humor him again.

Me: “Knock knock”

Olive: “Who’s there?”

Me: “Banana.”

Olive: “Banana who?”

Me: “Knock knock”

This is Olive

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:11:39 +0000

This is Olive. I feel like I’ve just begun to know her. Recently she’s been relating her observations to us with her own clever interpretations. I find myself constantly amused, inspired, and uplifted as I watch this little girl interact with the world. She’s developing a piercing wit that she casually melds with her uncomplicated but somehow sophisticated (for a 2 year old) understanding of how people and things work.

The first day of the unschool year

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 22:59:16 +0000

I noticed on facebook today that many of my friend’s kids were dressed in fresh new clothes with hair and teeth brushed. Ruby and Olive weren’t actually all that bad considering they had a shower just yesterday (showering when you don’t have one of your own can be a little more of an adventure). When we went out for the morning I decided to drag along Tucker’s good camera to snap a few shots of our first day, and what a beautiful day it was. We had sun and warmth starting in the morning and lasting until evening. Ruby came home from swimming lessons after 6 without wearing her winter hat. Remarkable! Here’s why I’m glad I didn’t send my daughter to school again today.

August 15th in Pictures

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 21:15:58 +0000

We spent a magical afternoon with Kate and Michael and cousin Jacob. Here’s the photo evidence.

Pink Jobs & Blue Jobs

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 09:07:10 +0000

A few weeks ago I was lamenting to Victoria how we seem to have fallen right back into traditional gender roles in our household. It should not have come as a surprise to me, what with Vick being a stay at home mom, but after many years of mixing and matching roles based on personal strengths rather than gender roles, I was somewhat irked by our lapse into traditionalism.

Yin & Yang: Life as a Balancing Act

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 08:36:04 +0000

There has been a rash of theft in our marina lately. It started with a bunch of fishing gear getting stolen off of some power boats, but this Saturday I found my bike had been stolen. This kind of thing can really make you question the quality of the average person… until you come back from your errands to find an annoymous gift in your cockpit.

We think one of our friends down the dock left the toy castle for the kids. They had a ball playing with it but agreed that it wouldn’t fit in our boat. The next morning Ruby and Olive raced down the dock to return it and were perfectly delighted to put it back aboard Gemini.

No Better Life Than This One: Choosing Joy

Sat, 31 Jul 2010 22:21:39 +0000

Today sucked royally. I started the day saddled with the dread of a project (replacing the hot water heater) that I just knew was going to go badly. This project was going to go badly because:

I couldn’t get to all of the fittings to measure what size they were and therefore didn’t know for sure what to buy to replace them.
The old water heater may have or may not have fit out through the available hole… Oh no. It didn’t.
The beginning of the project involved cutting the safety net (all of the hoses, strapping, and electrical) thereby completely committing me to raving success or miserable failure.
The space that I had to work in was miserably small, virtually guarantying several minor concussions, gashes, and bruises (check, check, and check)
The very best that I had hoped for was to get enough done that I could safely turn on the pressure water in the evening (cold only) to do the dishes from the margaritas.

So after a grumpy breakfast, and a grumpy trip to the chandlery and the hardware store, I grumpily made by way back down the dock with not quite enough parts to complete the project, and a pretty bad attitude. I was short tempered all morning, and when I finally remeasured the new hot water heater and found that it was something like 10" too tall for the space it was going into, I was pretty certain that I was going to go stratospheric. When I then remeasured the old heater and found that there was no possible way to get it out without removing the countertop, I thought I would cry.

Guns

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 21:54:12 +0000

Olive: “You know what this is daddy?”

Me: " No Olive, what is that" (she’s holding two paint stirrers)

Olive: “Its a gun for catching gooses and ducks with fire and steam”

Me: “Buddy, do you think you’re old enough for a gun?”

Olive: “Oh yeah, Im a very big girl. Very tall”

Me: “Okay then i guess you’re big enough to go to bed without nursing then?”

Olive: “Aye Aye”

Dad Life

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 14:07:19 +0000

Thought this was pretty funny.

Thanks to this article by the super funny and entertaining Janna Cawrse Esarey for hooking me up with this video.

No Better Life Than This One: Reevaluating My Primary Relationship

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:51:35 +0000

Can critically evaluating your relationship lead to a happier healthier self while simultaneously improving the relationship?

{this moment}

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 08:56:33 +0000

A Friday ritual, inspired by Soule Mama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

4th of July Weekend in Photos

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 17:37:41 +0000

{this moment}

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 07:00:12 +0000

Yo Ho Yo Ho, Aboard is the Life For Me

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 23:13:35 +0000

For the past 9 years I’ve had less than 30 minutes of commute a day, total. Today I commuted a total of 3 hours. The two bike segments home were directly into the wind, with killer traffic, in my lowest gear. I got home and met Vick and the kids in the parking lot and spent nearly an hour searching for food and clothing in the ManVan.

Tonight, with winds howling at ~20 knots in the harbor, we finally relented to the worsening head smell in our cabin. It was obvious what needed to be done but with the cold and wind and dark, we were hoping it could wait until morning. Not so. After one aborted attempt for a pump out at the fuel dock (turns out that pump out must have gone away when they relocated the fuel dock) we headed back to our slip to do some reconnaissance on foot. Once I had confirmed that we could get over and back to the Emery Cove pump out we pushed off again and made our way over, did the deed, and got Convivia back into her slip.

Moving Aboard

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:24:08 +0000

This is it. As of Monday we are officially live-aboards. To me that means that, starting on Monday, I will come home to the boat, sleep on the boat and wake up on the boat every day for the foreseeable future. This is deeply comforting to me. To Vick it means a week (only a week) of final push to sell everything that we own that doesn’t fit this new life, or doesn’t fit in the boat/manvan/storage unit. Monday is not deeply comforting to Vick.

A Working Vacation

Sun, 09 May 2010 22:03:33 +0000

This is the first chance I’ve had to sit down at my computer in six days. When in the last 15 years have I been able to say that?

This vacation was certainly unique. Since it was a last minute (we decided at lunch two days before departing) decision, the expectations were low. Regardless, none of us were prepared for the highs and lows of this last week.

On the high side:

Winning the Lottery

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:49:04 +0000

On the way to work this morning Victoria suggested that we play the lottery. “Its $166 million today, seems like a good time.” Now understand, we don’t play the lottery to win, that’s just crazy talk. We play for entertainment value. When we were younger we would go out an drop a cool Washington on a ticket and then spend all night talking about our fantasy future. As we got older, and started to live that fantasy, we did this less often. Still, a couple times a year, the mood strikes us and we splurge.

Pre-K Geography

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 06:50:05 +0000

Believe it or not this was spontaneous. I have no idea how Olive knew where the pirates are or where Hawaii is. I guess unschooling is working for our family.

Are the Kids ready?

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 23:03:29 +0000

If you’ve been wondering how the kids feel about this transition…

[cue cheesy infomercial voice] …and if you liked “going marina” you’ll love some of these other instant classics.

“I can’t wait to tell Anika about Oakland, there’s so many things to see” — Ruby

“Me going to live on a sailboat… with no bathtub” — Olive

“I’m not sure which of my things I’m going to sell quite yet, but I’ll think about it” — Ruby (spontaneously)

Back in the Flow

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 22:48:24 +0000

Years ago, back when we lived in Vermont, and even later when we first moved out to California, I always knew just what to do. It was easy. I never stood at the crossroads of a big decision, I just jumped in and let the current take me. I was sensitive to it, and I could tell somehow when it was time to hop out and look around but I never thought to second guess the current of my life. This flow took me from place to place, job to job, adventure to adventure, always at precisely the right moment. As long as I kept my vision clear and my wits about me, things seemed to just work out.

Liveaboard Status… ?

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 23:10:36 +0000

Today I signed the application that will give us live aboard status at our old marina in the East Bay. We’ve been on the waiting list for 10 years and when I called the other day to find out our status, I learned that we had finally made it to the top. This is a huge step for our family because it means that we can live aboard in a marina that will allow us to sail on the weekends. Everyone we’ve talked to at Pete’s harbor seemed resigned to the fact that they could not sail and live aboard. I’m hopeful that, with the Golden Gate Bridge clearly visible from our marina, we’ll be reminded that we’re in this to sail, not to sit at the dock.

Feeling Inspired

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:12:43 +0000

Despite the boat related disappointment this weekend I’ve found myself unexpectedly inspired, motivated, and empowered these last two days. Vick linked me up to the blog of a nomadic family (Happy Janssens) last night, and I kinda went link crazy, hopping around to a bunch of similar blogs. These families’ stories have been a balm on my chapped spirit. This morning the kids and I sat around watching videos from various blogs showing their kids living happy, nomadic, unschooling lives. True our adventure is just where we left it on Friday, but somehow we all feel closer to it.

Buying a Boat

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 22:35:39 +0000

I wish I could think up a clever analogy for buying a boat. It would be gratifying to package this whole experience up in a tidy little cliche and dispense that wisdom to people who, like us, are suffering the tumultuous ups and downs of buying a circumnavigating sailing vessel on a small budget. Maybe, “Buying a boat is like high school girlfriends… but without the kissing.”

I have fallen in love 3 times in 3 weeks. So far, no kisses. Maybe its a little melodramatic to say that these inanimate objects have “dumped me.” After all, my sentience should give me the upper hand in these relationships, but if you ask my wife, she’ll corroborate. I am reduced to a sappy, romantic, drooling boy when presented with high combings, a butterfly hatch, or a fancy cabin. I even tell myself not to let my emotions cloud my judgment, but its no use.

Puddle Party

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:00:34 +0000

Welcome El Niño.

QUIET FEET: Harmony Restored

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 21:13:35 +0000

Yesterday we woke up before 5am for the 14th consecutive day. Our parenting style dictates that we just roll with this, as unnatural and seemingly untenable as it is. Vick and I believe that its our responsibility to call it a night so that we can rise with the kids (see my earlier article for more on this). So we’ve been dutifully rising and shining at 4-5am and using lattes to get us through the week.

Catalina in Retrospect

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 08:14:23 +0000

We are back home now and the verdict is in. This vacation was a resounding success. Its likely that this was our best and favorite family vacation ever. We had some logistical issues, and some moments of frayed nerves, but that is to be expected. What really impresses me is how we all worked together to make sure that everyone could enjoy the trip.

Ruby was a total champ. When Vick and I were busy, she would entertain her sister down below. She devised a multitude of games, and when we finally bought a couple containers of Play-dough she would spend hours with her making pretend food and serving it up.

Catalina: New Year's Eve

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 08:05:26 +0000

Yesterday we went out for a pleasure sail. We sailed out of Catalina Harbor in the morning and puttered around the Outer Santa Barbara Channel. The wind was promising when we left the harbor. It had been assaulting our transom all night, smacking the harbor against the hull loudly enough that we almost turned the boat on our mooring.

By the time we got under sail the wind died. This has been the great frustration of sailing here. We can see wind on the ocean all around but wherever we are seems to be becalmed. Since we didn’t have any destination I wasn’t inclined to turn on the engine. We just wallowed, boom creaking in the light puffs of wind that would occasionally grace us. Our speed over water was 0 knots for at least an hour.

Catalina: Avalon to Catalina Harbor

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:51:07 +0000

My face and belly are radiating that kind of inside out warmth that comes from a day of doing all ones favorite things. I don’t mean to lead my readers to believe that today was easy. The children were on again off again unmanageable and Victoria was regularly overwrought by her prognostication that, due to said children, and an unfortunately poor choice of words on my part the night before, she didn’t know if “this was going to work.” (She was of course referring to the Big Trip.) Normally when my family is assaulted by this severe a maelstrom I am emotionally and pragmatically debilitated for the duration. The whole of my attention is consumed trying to determine what I am going to do about it.

Catalina: First Impressions

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:52:26 +0000

When we left off our family had just arrived in Isthmus Harbor (one of the Two Harbors). As soon as the sun set we were treated to the oddly festive spectacle of an entire harbor lit up with Christmas lights. All of the waterfront buildings and many of the boats were sporting multicolored lights. It reminded me (for whatever reason) of Jimmy Buffet’s song “Christmas in the Caribbean,” thereby putting a huge smile on my face. We ate a mediocre yet unbelievably expensive dinner at the only restaurant in Two Harbors—from which I had to hastily extricate my kids when they simultaneously decided to be the loudest kids in the harbor(s). We enjoyed a brief moonlit motor back to the boat and everyone fell asleep quickly.

Catalina: The Passage.

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 16:40:10 +0000

We arrived in Two Harbors last night, just after the sun went down. We left Marina Del Rey around noon and motored out of the immense harbor. When we got to Santa Monica Bay, I briefly doused the engine to get a sense of the wind. We headed up and set the main. The wind sustained us for all of 15 minutes (at a measly 4 knots) before it died out completely. I reluctantly conceded that there was no chance of making it to Catalina on wind power alone and powered up the diesel.

Off to Catalina

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:23:05 +0000

Its Christmas Eve and as exciting as tomorrow promises to be the thing that Ruby and Olive claim to be most excited about is the sailing trip. That’s right, when given the choice between presents or sailing Ruby said she was more excited about sailing.

In preparation, Victoria and I are frantically working down the todo list. Here’s what the next few days look like

Our good friends Sarah and Ricky are stopping by for a lightning visit this afternoon.
Tonight we make our traditional Christmas Eve dinner. This year we’re adding Peppermint Molten Chocolate Cakes to the feast.
After dinner we’ll do a video chat with Papa Verne and Gramora where Papa V. will read “The Night Before Christmas” (another family tradition.)
After the kids fall asleep we’ll pack everything up for the trip, put out the presents, and hopefully get to bed early.
In addition to the expected Christmas morning hullabaloo we will be preparing to leave (at noon? really?), and video chatting with the Logans.

We’ll drive down to LA and spend the night there. Early on the 26th we will drive over to the marina where Vick will drop me off to do the check-in. She’ll head over to WF in Santa Monica to provision and we’ll hopefully be on the water by 11am. I’ve been told that the sail is ~7hrs to Two Harbors so we’ll be racing against the clock to get to the mooring before dark.

The Blue Bunny — Olive' First (collaborative) Story

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:58:50 +0000

We had a really first rate dinner at Amber tonight. When we arrived (at 5:15), there was one other family there and we were seated in the very back corner of the room reserved for families with little kids that look like trouble. Ruby was wearing her pink flower rain boots, mini-skirt, and a blue tee-shirt. Olive was sporting the ripped play pants and a dinosaur shirt. I really can’t blame them for seating us in the back corner, and it did nothing to dampen our enjoyment of the meal. The waitstaff positively doted over Olive. She played it cool, not answering their questions, but turning around to gawk at them when they walked away.

Yo Ho Ho Ho

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:25:39 +0000

We’ve really needed a relaxing family vacation for a while, and with time counting down to the big trip, we also need to make sure that the family is up for extended sailing. Last night, after weeks of thinking about these two items individually a plan popped into my head that married both of these concerns into a harmonic union.

This morning I asked Ruby if she would like to go sailing for the week after Christmas. She asked a bunch of probing questions – “Can I bring my dolls?” and “What will we do about pirates” – and when she was satisfied with the answers, wholeheartedly supported the plan.

Please Welcome Forgeover's First Guest Author

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:44:10 +0000

I’ve finally convinced my dad to share his story with my readers. My dad is a fantastic writer. He was a classics major and then a newspaper editor, and then eventually the Editor in Chief of Law and Policy in International Business, a Georgetown University international law review.

His posts will be published on the dates they were written, so please follow his author slug so you don’t miss any!

In addition to providing great reading for you all, I am pleased as punch to have this record of our shared experience. Please take a moment to greet him in the comment section of his first post!

Ruby's 9th Kyu Test

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 10:36:51 +0000

Errata: I initially labeled this “Ruby’s 8th Kyu Test”, having counted backwards from 10. I forgot that she was a AikiExplorer before she was 10th Kyu. So when you see the movie title, you’ll know which to believe.

TED India and Beyond

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 22:47:28 +0000

While I was on vacation, I received word that I had been invited to be a guest at TED India 2009. Tonight I completed the registration and made it official. My tickets are purchased and plans are being laid.

When I mentioned to my dad that I was almost certainly going to India, he told me that he had always wanted to go and got this far away look in his eye. I instantly extended an invitation to him, hoping that he would accept, but aware that it was a big lift for him. I was happily surprised when my Mom started to encourage him and he gradually agreed that this was the chance of a lifetime. Of course my parents have this habit of dreaming about things in a way that looks to outsiders like resolve, so I was optimistically skeptical until last week when we bought our plane tickets.

East Coast Family Vacation 2009

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 12:33:41 +0000

We just returned from a truly wonderful vacation. I took the family back East (Boston, Portland, Round Pond) for almost the whole month of August. We saw most of our family, got to welcome baby Jacob into the world, and many of our oldest friends.

It was a true vacation in every sense. The children both came into their own. Ruby, discovering her roll in our family (nuclear and extended), found her inner sweetness (best self) and showed an unexpected degree of maturity, self reliance, and empathy. This was best expressed when she was shepherding her sister around, pointing out dangers, explaining tricks and relationships, and helping her get her needs met.

I Am A Radiant Being

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 22:16:09 +0000

Okay, I’m going to come right out and say this cheesy thing that sometimes runs through my mind. I am a radiant being. This is not to say that I am radiant and some other people are dull. I suspect that we are all radiant. In any case, that’s not the point of this post. This is the point. I want to believe that what I do for money is just one aspect of who I am, and what makes me valuable in this life.

Admitting Failure

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 10:10:29 +0000

I put this Title in my drafts folder on June 12th. Its been sitting there taunting me ever since. Then on Wednesday I attended a session at OSCON titled “Programmer Insecurity & The Genius Myth”. Ben Collins-Sussman and Brian Fitzpatrick talked to us about how our fear of looking like an idiot or not being taken seriously, or hubris, prevents us from admitting failure.

The following are my thoughts on this topic, which have recently been influenced and enhanced by Ben and Brian.

Being Your Best Self

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:24:22 +0000

I’m a crunchy, touchy feelie, hippie parent. As such its often hard to come up with just the right words to tell your kid that biting her mom and laughing about it makes you wildly, furiously, and deeply unhappy. As a hippie, touchy feelie, AP, parent you are not, for example supposed to say “Do that again and you’re out of the family.” Nor is it encouraged to shout “Are you insane?” It’s just not the thing. Conversely the suggested mantras “Biting is not okay” and “We don’t bite sweetie,” just don’t really satisfy the deep, furious, wild feelings that are floating around the house at such moments.

Putting the Kids to Sleep

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 20:41:17 +0000

Tonight, for the first time ever, I put both kids to sleep without help. Ruby went down first. I read her One Morning in Maine, and held her for a few minutes. Initially she wanted me to go away right after I was done reading, but I gave a disappointed sound and she consented to letting me hold her for “one minute”. I swear she counted seconds, because she kicked me out before I fell asleep (which generally happens around minute 4).

Father's Day @ Hidden Villa

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:38:05 +0000

I started out the day, as I do most every Sunday, with the Coffee Social. Since the kids are finally over the chicken-pox we had a great turnout, and I got to spend most of the morning lounging around with coffee, chocolate crossiants, and friends. Early naps provided a little needed excuse to read more of my latest addiction .

Somewhere around 4 we packed up our things and headed over to Hidden Villa for the Banana Slug String Band’s Annual Father’s Day concert. I don’t know why I love this event so much. Maybe its sitting on the most lucious green organic lawn in the world, embraced by mountains all around. Maybe its the huge jar of margaritas Vick brought. Perhaps its the happy kids (myself included) running around without a care in the world. Whatever it is, I really look forward to this event. Every year I meet a couple of other dads that seem genuinely happy to be fathers.

Bacon or Meatballs, What Makes a Better Sundae?

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 08:15:35 +0000

I haven’t actually read this book, but I found the title intriguing. The title suggests that if you aren’t paying attention to your customers needs, then you may find yourself putting whipped cream and a cherry on a meatball. When I read the title, I had two strong and immediate impressions.

First, “yuck.” I said it out loud. Ruby, of course, asked what I was talking about. I told her the title, and asked if she would like a meatball sundae. “No way,” she replied " I would want a meatball plain and cherries and whipped cream plain too."

Ruby Writes a Story

Wed, 06 May 2009 08:43:19 +0000

Once upon a time a bunny was hiding in a bush. It was sunny then started to rain. Butterflies came. A pig came. The pig was pink. She needed something to eat, but she couldn’t find anything so she kept looking. She smelled something good. It was a carrot. The bunny tried to find a carrot too but she found the pig’s carrot. The pig wanted the carrot and they couldn’t work it out so the bunny kept walking and found another carrot. It wasn’t anyone’s so she ate it all up.

Ruby Dispatches Pirates

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 23:08:37 +0000

While we were eating dinner tonight (hamburgers… yes its relevant) the subject of pirates came up. Ruby is very concerned about pirates, and how they might steal her or eat her. She asked what we were going to do about pirates, so we (of course) took the opportunity to turn the question around…

Parent: Do you have any ideas Ruby?

Ruby (immediately) : I know, we could make a note that says “Pirates don’t steal our boat”, and we could put it in a bottle and send it to them, and then they wouldn’t steal our boat.