Somehow music and song lyrics have worked their way into my life again after many years. The sleep deprivation of having young children has nearly faded (now that both of them sleep through the night most of the time) and I’m able to pay closer attention to the world around me. Tucker has been playing the song The Gambler by Fun lately. We were barely eighteen when we crossed collective hearts. ...
Fifteen years ago today Victoria drove a borrowed truck, with her limited possessions into Brattleboro, Vermont to join me on what would be our first, longest, and most significant adventure together. I can still feel the crisp chill of the pre-winter air as I chatted nervously with one of the local crazies and awaited her arrival. Separated by hundreds of miles, without money or transportation, our relationship had just barely survived what we now know to have been its darkest hour. In the weeks preceding her arrival we had actually split up. Our friends, family, and advisors were in accord that our love was destined for disaster. We knew with unflappable, unassailable conviction that there was something about the other that we needed to explore, to know, and to grow from. This confidence and desire to grow together, it turns out, has been the foundation of our relationship. ...
One of my favorite pre-vacation practices is to intentionally lower my expectations. I contend that I am due a single 15-60 minute “moment of bliss” somewhere in a 2+ week vacation, and if I can get that I consider the experience a success. These moments of bliss generally take the form of reading a great book in the sun on a day with light breeze. On this last vacation I got two moments of bliss. The first (which happened twice) was when the kids were playing happily in the cabin. Vick and I were sitting in the cockpit drinking coffee, and Convivia was sailing herself under nearly perfect conditions. The second was when I took the kids to Shorebird Park to play while Vick went to the store. Both kids were having trouble with relationships. I saw at least a dozen problems at the moment before they flared up. Somehow I managed to use just the right intervention every time and their conflicts effortlessly catalyzed into new friendships and joyful spirit. I was in a zone, writing a symphony of play with them and I couldn’t have been happier or felt more accomplished. ...
I wasn’t at home when we were tied into slip A58 in Monterey Harbor. I was homesick. Surprising yes, since I was on my own boat, tied up with my usual dock lines, cooking in my own galley, and sleeping in my own bed. I spent my time in Monterey constantly checking the three forecast areas on NOAA to find our perfect weather window to head north. Again, I was surprised at myself. The trip north is usually hard, wet, and cold. Our boat is in great shape and we could actually (foolishly) cash in Tucker’s retirement accounts and head south for at least a year. I always want to go south, or anywhere warmer than wherever I am. But I wanted to go north, to go home. ...
Just you know, he insisted on doing this. It was completely unprompted.
Olive: “Knock Knock” Me: “Who’s there?” Olive: “Banana” Me: “Banana Who” Olive: “Aren’t you glad I didn’t say Orange?” At this point I’m thinking, at least he got the right fruit in there but Olive scrunches up his forehead as I fake laugh and says “Daddy what’s the real joke?” So I decided to humor him again. Me: “Knock knock” Olive: “Who’s there?” Me: “Banana.” Olive: “Banana who?” Me: “Knock knock” ...
This is Olive. I feel like I’ve just begun to know her. Recently she’s been relating her observations to us with her own clever interpretations. I find myself constantly amused, inspired, and uplifted as I watch this little girl interact with the world. She’s developing a piercing wit that she casually melds with her uncomplicated but somehow sophisticated (for a 2 year old) understanding of how people and things work. ...
I noticed on facebook today that many of my friend’s kids were dressed in fresh new clothes with hair and teeth brushed. Ruby and Olive weren’t actually all that bad considering they had a shower just yesterday (showering when you don’t have one of your own can be a little more of an adventure). When we went out for the morning I decided to drag along Tucker’s good camera to snap a few shots of our first day, and what a beautiful day it was. We had sun and warmth starting in the morning and lasting until evening. Ruby came home from swimming lessons after 6 without wearing her winter hat. Remarkable! Here’s why I’m glad I didn’t send my daughter to school again today. Both kids have fairy dust necklaces (though Olive lost her fairy dust in the bilge). Ruby offered Olive a wish on her fairy dust every five steps so we could make it down the dock in a reasonable amount of time. Yep, stopping every five steps was an improvement. You might think that the B dock was a straight line from our boat to the shore, but for the kids each and every finger has something to explore and they surely can’t be done until they know every boat name (and why they were named that); see every shell left by a sea bird; compare how each boat ties their dock lines; count how many boats have and anchor or two, or not; why one boat has a pirate flag; why someone is cleaning a certain way; why someone left their hose on; ….it could go on and it does, and we needed to get down the dock to go on a bike ride. We managed to drop off the PFDs and sun hats in Tucker’s truck and trade them for bikes and helmets and then they were off. But a bike ride is easily interrupted by a stick that begs to be thrown into the water. That was the end of the bike ride because Olive needed to head back to the bathroom. Then it was time to play on the grass. Ruby’s tag game seemed to be chase Olive and then push her over. She’d get up, she’d chase, she’d push (hard) and eventually she didn’t want to play that anymore. Ruby got mad at me for asking her to be gentle and stormed off to play in the mud at the edge of the grass. Olive joined and and they got pretty darned muddy. I didn’t think it was a terribly big deal because we had access to bathrooms and 64 faucets and hoses between the lawn and our boat that I could rinse them off in. And again it was a remarkably warm day out so we could even string their clothes on the lifelines to dry. ...
We spent a magical afternoon with Kate and Michael and cousin Jacob. Here’s the photo evidence.
A few weeks ago I was lamenting to Victoria how we seem to have fallen right back into traditional gender roles in our household. It should not have come as a surprise to me, what with Vick being a stay at home mom, but after many years of mixing and matching roles based on personal strengths rather than gender roles, I was somewhat irked by our lapse into traditionalism. ...
There has been a rash of theft in our marina lately. It started with a bunch of fishing gear getting stolen off of some power boats, but this Saturday I found my bike had been stolen. This kind of thing can really make you question the quality of the average person… until you come back from your errands to find an annoymous gift in your cockpit. We think one of our friends down the dock left the toy castle for the kids. They had a ball playing with it but agreed that it wouldn’t fit in our boat. The next morning Ruby and Olive raced down the dock to return it and were perfectly delighted to put it back aboard Gemini. ...
Today sucked royally. I started the day saddled with the dread of a project (replacing the hot water heater) that I just knew was going to go badly. This project was going to go badly because: I couldn’t get to all of the fittings to measure what size they were and therefore didn’t know for sure what to buy to replace them. The old water heater may have or may not have fit out through the available hole… Oh no. It didn’t. The beginning of the project involved cutting the safety net (all of the hoses, strapping, and electrical) thereby completely committing me to raving success or miserable failure. The space that I had to work in was miserably small, virtually guarantying several minor concussions, gashes, and bruises (check, check, and check) The very best that I had hoped for was to get enough done that I could safely turn on the pressure water in the evening (cold only) to do the dishes from the margaritas. So after a grumpy breakfast, and a grumpy trip to the chandlery and the hardware store, I grumpily made by way back down the dock with not quite enough parts to complete the project, and a pretty bad attitude. I was short tempered all morning, and when I finally remeasured the new hot water heater and found that it was something like 10" too tall for the space it was going into, I was pretty certain that I was going to go stratospheric. When I then remeasured the old heater and found that there was no possible way to get it out without removing the countertop, I thought I would cry. ...
Olive: “You know what this is daddy?” Me: " No Olive, what is that" (she’s holding two paint stirrers) Olive: “Its a gun for catching gooses and ducks with fire and steam” Me: “Buddy, do you think you’re old enough for a gun?” Olive: “Oh yeah, Im a very big girl. Very tall” Me: “Okay then i guess you’re big enough to go to bed without nursing then?” Olive: “Aye Aye” ...