Social on Forgeover

ConvivEVA: the crew of Convivia is going sailing on EVA

Mon, 28 May 2018 18:14:35 +0000

You may have seen this hint of a story, this boatyard photo of Tucker and I, Ruby, and Olive in front of EVA, everyone’s dreamboat.

We have spent much of the last year and a half with Claude and Jules and their three kids, Noah, Lilo, and Finn. We met the kids the moment we tied our dock lines in Cape Town; our kids were off in a flash to see the kids playing with sticks on another dock. “This is the tiniest boat I’ve ever seen in my life,” said five year old Finn when she first stepped aboard Convivia. It turns out that her boat, built in her backyard, and launched only a few months before was quite a bit bigger. Claude and Jules still had many projects on EVA’s checklists during our time at the V and A Waterfront but still we managed to grab their kids for plenty of fun in Cape Town, shared a bunch of dinners together, and got out on a few excursions with everyone.

A Month for Tattoos

Thu, 23 Feb 2017 04:27:42 +0000

The exchanging of tattoos has been one of the absolute highlights of my time here in Cape Town. It started with a promise I made to Brady, back in Durban, to finish his calf tattoo. Once that was complete, Brian and Karin wanted ink too, and then it seemed like every second or third night, someone was getting inked.

We only have a few days left here, but the queue is still forming. It’s been gratifying to see my skill improve (marginally perhaps) and to share in the incredible bond of trust and openness that this ritual engenders. Huge gratitude to these special people who have shared their skin and trusted themselves to mark mine! <3

Cape Town

Sun, 12 Feb 2017 00:36:36 +0000

The kids eat breakfast, tell us that their schoolwork is done and dash off to see their friends. There are two kid boats here right now (Eva and Yemaya) and five extra kids mean that there is never a dull moment for them.

Vick and I take advantage of this new freedom to explore the town’s coffee shops and cafes. In the evening, we go to one of the neighbor’s boats for sundowners, tattoos, or an impromptu party. Life is sure enough good!

Jeremy Loops @ Kirstenbosch

Mon, 06 Feb 2017 09:46:10 +0000

New Year's Ink

Tue, 03 Jan 2017 08:56:41 +0000

The tradition of [European] sailors tattooing each other dates back to the 1700s when Captain Cook’s crew picked up the practice from the Polynesians. Since then, countless sailors have followed in their intrepid wake. I have chronicled some of my own experiences here, and here, but haven’t spoken much about how we adopted this tradition or how it has evolved in our cruising community.

It started simply enough, with a proper anchor tattoo (Rocna), exchanged with a good friend on a buddy boat. In Johor Bahru, another sailor opted in, and since then, many more of our sailing buddies have asked (in spite of my strong disclaimer that I am not a professional) to exchange or receive tattoos. It’s become a bit of a thing.

Famadihada: The Turning of the Dead

Sat, 17 Sep 2016 09:11:03 +0000

Five years ago, a teenage girl died in the small Malagasy village of Antanambe. She was buried, as is her family custom, with all of her relatives, in a small plot cleared from the rain-forest in Verezanantsoro National Park. Here she awaits the decay of her corporeal form, so that she may finally join the spirit world. In the meantime though, she becomes lonely. The song and dance, the strong tradition of love and support that her village offered in life, is absent in death.

St Gabriel Hike

Sat, 02 Jul 2016 11:47:50 +0000

Alicia, from the boat On Verra, has been organizing hikes for the cruisers nearly every day that we’ve been here. It’s one of the best cruiser services I’ve ever experienced because it helps us to see the natural beauty of the island, and gives us a much needed endorphin hit and kick in the pants to get moving in the morning.

Today she took us by bus to the trail-head at St Gabriel crossing. From there we walked past the largest church in the Indian Ocean (also conveniently, the pit stop). The trail started just below the church and wound through lush forest, rock strewn pasture, and down a long slope with a stunning view of the lagoon and sea beyond.

Days to Remember

Fri, 01 Jul 2016 08:10:43 +0000

A few days ago I was told that my dorades were dusty. The next day another person mentioned how dirty my decks were. And yet another person asked me why I had so much crap in my cockpit. All of these criticisms hit me deeply and personally and brought back every single boat insult ever slung my way. I emotionally fled to a perfectly polished tiny cottage where I could live alone in shiny silence with a hand blown glass vase full of pink peonies on the table and not a single crumb on the floor.

Rodrigues Music

Mon, 27 Jun 2016 00:02:00 +0000

Thaispusam in Penang

Wed, 06 Jan 2016 06:46:40 +0000

We had an Uber driver recently that asked us if we would be in Penang for Thaipusam. He was part way through forty days of preparation, fasting, celibacy and not shaving in advance of this important Tamil Hindu holiday commentating the God Murugan, representing goodness over evil. Because our stay in Penang was much longer than we anticipated the kids and I had an opportunity to witness the celebration.

In Penang, thousands of devotees follow a procession of a chariot to the Sri Mahamariamman Temple carrying small pots of fresh cow’s milk as offerings. Other devotees observe by piercing their skin with small hooks or large skewers and carrying large kavadi on supports around their shoulders and waists.

Yard Dog's Christmas

Mon, 21 Dec 2015 01:11:21 +0000

We have been in the boat yard for two weeks now. Things are moving along at the expected pace (slower than I would hope, but reasonable for this oppressive climate). The boat is covered, and has its first coat of primer. The propeller shaft is off, the old swim ladder (which has been held captive by the Monitor for years now) is being removed and welded over. While we have the hull exposed, we are also adding glass around the keel (about 6mm at the widest point) and removing some blisters.

Refueling Adventure

Fri, 13 Nov 2015 00:00:55 +0000

Continued from here

Trying our luck, in this case meant speaking entirely in Indonesian, asking around for someone who might have a surplus, and then negotiating the purchase or trade without the benefit of local currency (which we had divested ourselves of in Belitung, as we were intending to leave the country).

While we were attempting to nap, a precocious pre-teenager named Chandra paddled up in his dugout, asking for books, water, and/or footballs. We offered a few gifts, and then I asked (sensing his “can do” personality) if he could help me find solar (diesel). With the help of Google Translate, I learned that he could help, but only if I came with him right then. I hadn’t slept a consecutive 3 hours in the last 72 and the prospect of undertaking such an adventure was daunting, to say the least.

Indonesian Halloween

Sat, 31 Oct 2015 08:44:59 +0000

In every other place that we’ve spent an October 31st, it has seemed like the holiday would at least have been heard of. Port Villa, maybe less so, but they get enough expats and tourists, that maybe someone spilled the beans. And indeed, when Ruby traipsed through the markets with her fairy gown and Vanuatan headdress feather, it was taken as cute, at worst.

Here on Pulau Parang, it is quite clear that our foreign holiday would be about the most mysterious and possibly offensive sort of festivity. So we decided to have a quiet celebration between the two boats (Peregrine and Convivia). Last night we got together (sans Vick, who was feeling ill at the time) and made arepas, and fried eggs, baked potato wedges, and watermelon drinks, while painting each other’s faces, and carving… you guessed it (no you didn’t) watermelons.

Passage Gratitude

Sun, 25 Oct 2015 03:19:47 +0000

I don’t know what exactly it is about passagemaking that brings out these feelings but it’s so common as to be a phenomenon. Despite the sleep deprivation, and subtle (and sometimes acute) hardships of crossing hundreds of miles of ocean. Despite being cramped in a small, often roughly rolling vessel with two lovely but demanding children, I often find a moment, or a long string of moments where I am just so overwhelmed with gratitude for my great good fortune that it feels transcendent.

So Hard

Sat, 27 Jun 2015 16:28:34 +0000

I don’t know how many times I uttered that terse phrase yesterday. Saying goodbye, it’s…

Hard.

Rather than sputter on sentimentally I’m just going to post a ton of random pictures of some of the people we’ve come to love in our too short stay here. Thank you all for making our going away party such a touching success. We will miss the heck out of you!

No Fresh Perspective

Sat, 13 Jun 2015 21:40:44 +0000

I’m sitting in the City Library. Olive is watching Minecraft videos and Vick is reading a cookbook. This is the place where I spend the majority of my waking hours recently. It’s been my “office” for the last several months. This is the place where plantefunder.org took its new shape. The colors and sounds are so familiar that they have become my norm. Boat, Library, Gardens, Library, Boat. That’s my daily route. Even the handful of coffee shops I frequent aren’t as comfortable as this space has become.

Ready for Adventure Again (almost)

Thu, 28 May 2015 14:04:30 +0000

We arrived in Australia almost exactly two and a half years ago. Pulling into Brisbane after 15 months of cruising seemed decidedly like the end of our adventure. We were trading sun soaked beaches, a persistent, intimate awareness of the weather, sundowners with dear friends, and nearly daily boat maintenance for the relative ease of city life, a stable job, and weather that wouldn’t really affect us.

What I soon discovered was that it was just the start of a new adventure, one punctuated by forging new relationships, and building a life in a foreign country. Making this foreign country feel native—navigating the subtle cultural differences, finding our community, as well as coming to the understanding that all the animals that could kill us here, wouldn’t necessarily (under normal circumstances) want to kill us— was just as challenging and exciting as when we sailed through Mexico, or the Marquesas.

Coyote: The Trickster

Mon, 16 Mar 2015 16:25:18 +0000

When I met Robbie last year, all I knew about him was that he was inking all of my friends and that Gael thought that he could definitely help with this crazy octopus idea that I had. By the time that tattoo was done, I had made one of those rare friends that defy the rules that erode normal friendships under the pressures of time, distance, and language. Roberto is a kindred spirit.

Community

Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:48:00 +0000

From time to time, in the course of my travels, people have asked me about “home.” By this they usually mean the USA in general or one of the specific places I’ve lived. When I talk about the good things, I almost always start and end with community. I tend to describe (my) New England as a place where community is valued highly, and then give specific examples of the types of activities that illustrate this value. The coffee social we organized when we lived Mountain View was one common example, but this New Year’s Eve will be my new favorite (if I can find a way to encapsulate it).

A (pseudo) Tourist in the Bay Area

Mon, 22 Dec 2014 15:27:53 +0000

Our trip to the Bay Area was surreal. We had the pleasure of staying with our Framily (the Logans). Their home feels like our home, even though they had only just moved in when we moved away. So much of our old community vibe lives there, that it was like stepping back into routine. And unlike our family, theirs is supremely tranquil. We also had the good fortune to connect with a few old and seriously dear friends, strengthening relationships that have been mostly on hold since we left.

Native Culture Shock

Wed, 03 Dec 2014 08:11:49 +0000

I’ve been meaning to sit down and put my thoughts to words for a week now. Arriving in the United States after 3 years abroad was certain to be a bit of a transition. This long separation is compounded by the nature of my lifestyle: the constantly shifting landscape (literally and metaphorically); the unique challenges of a life at sea; establishing myself for life and work in a (not so, but still) foreign country; and the very real fact that I have, over the past 3 years, manifested a life that is as close to my personal ideal as one can get while still balancing the needs and desires of three other individual beings.

Best Day Ever

Sun, 22 Jun 2014 01:19:06 +0000

I have a hard time assigning superlatives. I tend to experience life in an abstract way that doesn’t depend heavily on specific, quantifiable metrics. So when I say that this was the best day ever, take that with a grain of salt. There were other best days. They might have been better, who knows. Not me :)

Today started slowly, in the usual ways. After coffee and breakfast I headed up to the cockpit to knock a quick tiller repair project off the list. With that success behind me I focused on the horizon.

Sundowners

Sat, 19 Apr 2014 03:56:30 +0000

Is this even a term that non-cruisers know? If so, does it even mean the same thing? We went for sundowners on Condessa del Mar tonight. The last time we did that we were in a deserted island with 6 other boats, all of whom were sharing this quintessential cruiser experience.

A sundowner is, technically speaking, a drink shared with friends as the sun sets. It’s misleading though because, more often than not, sundowners last until late in the evening. When the bugs have come and gone and things are finally starting to get cool; the stars are out and the milky way fills the sky, that’s when we start to notice that maybe we’ve stretched the event a little long. That’s when we start to realized that the crackers and special recipe popcorn we brought doesn’t necessarily constitute dinner, and maybe the kids should get to bed soon.

Octopus Tattoo

Tue, 24 Dec 2013 03:28:12 +0000

Today is Christmas Eve day so we did what any normal family would do and got some tattoos. Technically mine was started last night, but we did all of the shading today.

Our artist, Roberto Galbiani, an Italian architect-turned-tattoo-genius, was introduced to us by friends that run our favorite cafe (Pablo). If you remember back to the post about my Marquesan Tattoo, you might recall that I wasn’t sure that I would ever get another one. This opportunity made for too good of a story to pass up, and I was at a moment where I had something that I wanted to record in skin, so I enthusiastically pursued it.

A Tall Poppy in Oz

Sun, 06 Oct 2013 03:42:19 +0000

One of the very first things I learned about Australian culture was that it robustly supports the lopping of tall poppies. Unless you are from AU, NZ, CA, or the UK you probably don’t even know what this term means, Wikipedia describes it as:

“… a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticised because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers.”

Sliding in Sideways…

Thu, 26 Sep 2013 03:38:01 +0000

I’ve found myself having rather candid conversations about our finances lately. Inevitably I find myself saying “we’re skidding sideways into each paycheck.” Indeed last month we made it across the line by searching pockets for laundry money. It would, if I were inclined to look at it that way, be a realization of one of my worst pre-cruising fears.

Over the last week I conducted an informal survey of cruiser friends on Facebook. Of the 16 respondents 10 cited money as one of (if not the most significant) reasons that people fail to launch their cruising dreams. In About the Crew I described how we chose to throw financial responsibility to the wind, and I thought it suiting that I take a minute to let you know how that all shook out.

September in Brisbane

Tue, 24 Sep 2013 04:47:36 +0000

September has been a month of goodbyes and getting-to-know-yas. It’s been a month of changing weather (for the better) and changing government (for the worse). It’s been full of laughter, outdoor play and exciting summery events.

We are all feeling like Brisbane is home, and except for the outrageous cost; and missing our family and friends back home; we are just delighted to be able to say that.

In the spirit of photo-blogging when I don’t have enough new things to say, here’s another montage of our month. Hopefully the captions will tell our story well.

Slut Shaming — From a Man's Perspective

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 03:47:19 +0000

I’ve been noticing a lot of articles, podcasts, tweets, and other coverage lately about slut shaming and rape culture. Maybe it’s that I have decidedly feminist sexual politics and my friends and news feeds tend to reflect and amplify those topics, or maybe (I can hope) it’s because our society is starting to realize that feminism and (more basically) respecting women is an issue that men have a serious stake in.

When I hear on the news that people are sympathising with rapists who’s “futures have been ruined”, I assume that the part of the population that thinks that way must be incredibly small, uneducated and dim witted. When I read the dozens of brave letters from women (some in their middle years, some in high school) who have been sexually bullied, slut shamed, and raped I would love to believe that they represented 100% of the population that has been saddled with such a burden.

Life Like a Story

Sat, 08 Jun 2013 17:15:12 +0000

There are many kinds of books and as many kinds of book lovers. So please read the following from your own perspective and not through my eyes.

You know that feeling when you pick up a good book, and you just can’t put it down? You know the feeling when you get to the end and desperately hope that the author writes a sequel, or another book as good as the one you just put down? I love that feeling. That’s how I want to feel about my life.

Autumn in Australia

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 05:31:22 +0000

It’s autumn here.

I know that may not seem like it deserves its own line but you know what, it does! The year here starts in Summertime and then goes to Fall. Fall comes before Spring in the southern hemisphere. You can get all intellectual about this but until you feel it, you’re not going to understand why those three words get their very own line.

The weather has been getting cooler but I foolishly keep pretending that everything is “normal.” So when Ceilydh asked us if we wanted to do a little mini-cruise over Easter weekend, my mis-calibrated brain thought “it should be getting warmer every day, why not.” The day before we left the forecast was for four days of solid rain. Lucky for us we got nearly perfect weather for the whole trip and had enough sun that we could almost maintain the illusion of the season our bodies were expecting.

And just like that… I'm plugged in!

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 03:18:20 +0000

I’ve always known that there is a flow to life. Swim with it and you move quickly towards your destination. Swim against and you may get where you think you want to go, but man do you have to work for it. After a year an a half of cruising, I was well positioned to stay in the flow, but it was surprisingly difficult to maintain my conviction in the sleepy months surrounding the holidays. The city was all but dormant, there were no jobs posted, no real professional meetups, and I was starting to think of forcing, and leveraging. In other words, I was getting desperate.

Holding Hands

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:15:54 +0000

I was fortunate to have a pretty amazing/progressive sexual education. When I was an early teen I participated in a program called AYS (About Your Sexuality) that my church put on. You can read the wikipedia article for a slightly jaded synopsis of the curriculum, but for me it provided all of the information that I needed to take it real slowly, sexually speaking.

As a result while most of my guys friends were losing their virginity, I was kissing and holding hands. I got really good at it. In fact I got so good at it that I had an entire (2 week) relationship once that centered around (shall we say) erotic hand holding. Twenty something years later I find that I still get a charge from it.

Australia 2012 Recap in Photos

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 19:40:58 +0000

I have been pretty relaxed about my blog posting since we arrived. I think I thought I had little to say but the photos I have taken tell another story, so I will let them…

The Nature of Community

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 15:24:21 +0000

I’ve always been a pay it forward kind of guy. I love helping my friends out and I love to build community. Every once in a while I ask for help, and every time it’s hard. I don’t fully understand why, but I do know that I am distinctly averse to receiving generosity. This past week has been a learning experience for me.

It started, I think, when the lights started to flicker. We nursed our failing batteries all the way across the South Pacific but when we got to Bundaberg we just let it go. By the time we arrived in Brisbane they were near dead. Then a few nights before Christmas, when Ceildyh was over for dinner they died for good. We were eating and making merry and the whole boat went dark and silent. I switched us over to the starter battery and we finished the night with light (but no music). The next morning Evan called to let me know that he could help out with some old (but hopefully not as dead as our batteries). Then the sink fell in…

Everything Old is New Again

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 15:04:49 +0000

We’ve visited four of Vanuatu’s beautiful islands. We’re now in Port Vila experiencing the touristy city life, with ridiculous cover bands playing loudly on the harbor’s edge, gift shops filled with Chinese made souvenirs, and inappropriately dressed tourist girls. While I love our access to the waterfront showers, the delicious juice bar, and the amazing produce market, this is a scene that could be experienced in any country. Where we’ve come from in Anelcauhat, Aneityum and Port Resolution, Tanna, is another world, a world I’m so grateful to have seen.

Ruby's First year of Cruising

Fri, 05 Oct 2012 02:08:10 +0000

This week we had a wonderful opportunity to reflect on our first year of cruising. A mother on a group that we belong to asked for suggestions for a reluctant soon-to-be-cruising 7 year old. We mentioned it to Ru and asked if she would like to write a letter to this girl and she jumped at the chance. Here’s what she said:

My name is Ruby. I am 8 years old and have been cruising for a year. I left from San Francisco a year ago today with my mom and dad and little brother. I heard that you might be a little worried about cruising and I want to let you know that it is really awesome.

Flyin' Through Fiji

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 02:27:48 +0000

As we made our way across the Pacific we were perpetually asking “can we spend a little more time here?” After ~10 years of putting off today’s desires in favor of tomorrow’s dream it was finally time to say “Yes, why not!” The down side to this was that we knew that every extra day we spent in today’s paradise would be borrowed from tomorrow’s. You can only defer for so long before the cyclone threat starts making your choices for you.

The Possibilities Are Endless

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 01:01:02 +0000

When I heard Zinnia was planning to move to Penrhyn I thought to myself, her mother may never see her again. And I thought that my children may end up moving to a place somewhere in the world, a place so remote that Lonely Planet only has five sentences to say about it.

Big Drama in Little La Cruz

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 18:55:44 +0000

Someone dropped a bomb on the morning net today. We were speeding right through our regularly scheduled broadcast when the voice of Marina La Cruz came on to inform us of a policy change. “The dinghy dock” (which had hitherto for been free) “will now be $5USD/day. We will also be issuing a day pass for the cruisers in the anchorage; $20 for use of the ‘services’ [VIP lounge, showers, etc.]” The net nearly imploded. For a few minutes all you could hear were boos and clicking as every boat that was listening echoed their dissent. $5/day is easily twice the most expensive dinghy dock fee in Mexico. We cleared out of Cabo (the former champion of excessive price) in just a few days, largely because of their API and dinghy dock fees. My mind was racing. Where could we go and still provision and get work done on our boat. Are the tacos in Punta de Mita anywhere near as good?

"Admiral" of the Banderas Bay "Fleet"

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 06:57:22 +0000

Last week I failed to appear at a Pacific Puddle Jump planning meeting and was consequentially elected to be the “Admiral” of the Banderas Bay “Fleet.” It’s not entirely clear to me what this means so I am assuming that I am the project manager of a cat herding operation. The Pacific Puddle Jump started nearly 20 years ago as a way for pre-gps, pre-accurate-long-term-weather sailors to support each other in crossing the largest ocean in the world. Over the years technology and knowledge base have matured and become fairly ubiquitous. The upshot is that nearly anyone can spend a little time on the internet and reap the wisdom necessary to cross the ocean. In spite of this sailors up and down the Pacific coast of the Americas still flock to the PPJ meetings in search of social connection, reassurance, and more information.

Goodbyes & Circles

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 04:00:42 +0000

Today we said goodbye to a family that we have been traveling with since Mazatlan. In the cruising world this is called buddy boating. That term really falls short of the mark though. When you cruise intentionally like this with another boat, especially one with kids the same age as yours, your lives get subtly interwoven. You tend to eat together daily, errands and activities sync up and within a few weeks you feel almost as at home on their boat as on your own.

FAQ: Cashing Out

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 06:00:47 +0000

Tonight I received an awesome email from a reader. She was wondering how we came to the decision to cash out a portion of our retirement to make this dream possible, and what struggles we had to overcome before feeling comfortable with the choice. I responded to her privately but then realized that I have been dancing around this in other posts. Rather than try to rephrase what I said, I’m going to post my reply in full, right here; with one caveat that I repeat in the body. This is a serious decision with serious consequences. In this email I was preaching to the converted, but our path is not the best for everyone. Also, to protect my dad’s honor and reputation I should add that while he is incredibly supportive of us and our dream, I don’t believe he would recommend this course of action if I asked him directly. This blog post is for entertainment purposes only.

101 Days of Cruising

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 06:00:23 +0000

We just sailed through our one hundred and first day. In this time we have begun to set the routines, behaviors, and mentalities that will be the foundations of our cruising lifestyle. After 101 days I can say with confidence that, while I haven’t experienced everything (who has) I am most definitely a cruiser, and I know that this life choice was the right one.

As with any milestone (and this one is arguably more arbitrary than most), I thought I would take a moment to publicly reflect on what life looks like at 101. So here, in no particular order, are some thoughts:

FAQ #4: Packed In Like Sardines

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 06:00:44 +0000

Q: What are some of the best things about traveling in close quarters with your family?

A: I get this question phrased in many ways. The most generous and upbeat of which is reflected above in a question from my friend Penny. Other, less positive variations include “Don’t you ever just want to get away.” or “You are so brave” or “I bet you want to throw them overboard sometimes.”

Giving Thanks

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 18:11:31 +0000

The Crew of Convivia has so much to be thankful for. Amongst those:

Our health
Enough wealth that we can afford to be together all the time
Enough love, patience, wisdom that we would want to be together all the time
The realization of a lifelong dream
This wonderful floating home
The support and love of our families and friends
A wonderful, diverse, and supportive cruising community (both near and far)
Thanksgiving in a climate that demands we wear swimwear to dinner

Reflecting on the overwhelming bounty of our life is a daily, or at least weekly occurrence lately, but on this day I observe our good fortune in the context of 36 previous days of Thanksgiving. I have never, on this day, felt anything less than a heart full of gratitude. If a heart full is the yardstick by which such things are measured though, I must surely have grown another heart this year.

Thank You!

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 08:57:59 +0000

They say no man is an island and as we embark on this adventure—replete with our water maker, mini solar farm, new high tech rigging, etc—I feel it is appropriate to acknowledge and give thanks to all the people who helped us get here.

As a knowledge worker, my ability to fund this trip came from an excellent education. The formal education I received was one of the best in the world, but my parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents all contributed to developing my intense curiosity, troubleshooting skills, and general competencies. Without these skills, and the reassurance that I could do anything that I set my mind to, I would never have been able to contemplate such an outrageous undertaking.

Boys Don't Cry

Sun, 25 Sep 2011 23:02:36 +0000

They came—finally—on the approach to the Bay Bridge. The saline evidence of a soul deep sadness that I have suppressed and longed for all week. This has been a week of goodbyes. A week of goodbyes, following another week of goodbyes on the East Coast.

As my colleague and compadre of 12 years bade me an emotional goodbye on Friday, I felt my tears well up and then, mysteriously, they were squelched. I felt robbed. This week has been filled with replayings of that vignette; with a friend I’ve known almost as long as I’ve lived in California, to those who’s child I’ve seen birthed. Each time the tragedy of having to move away from these relationships that we have nurtured in order to pursue a life long dream, filled me to bursting. And yet, tears eluded me.

…Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Sat, 03 Sep 2011 11:22:42 +0000

There is just nothing like a small New England Town. I am sitting in a coffee shop in Damariscotta Maine. This particular coffee shop is attached to a book store. The book store, though relocated, is the same one that got me hooked on reading as a kid. The first memory I have of reading is a summer memory. It was June or July and we were staying at my grandparents’ cottage. I tore through the ancient Hardy Boys anthology that seemed to have been read by generations of Bradford boys. When I got through with the last one a peculiar melancholy overtook me. My mother, wise parent that she is, took me into town to the Maine Coast Bookstore and introduced me to Ewan Walker, the owner. He asked me a few questions and started to recommend books.

Parents Have HOT SEX Too

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 23:41:36 +0000

Mom, you might want to give this one a skip…

Erica Jong does not speak for us. She doesn’t speak for many of the families I know, and those parents that she does speak of may want to distance themselves from her vitriolic rhetoric. That said, this post is not a critique (per se) of her “Is Sex Passé” article. What I hope it will be is a wake-up call to our generation. Erica Jong was reflecting a secretly but widely held belief that many of my peers either struggle against, or become oppressed by; that sex after marriage, and more specifically sex after kids, is bound to be less steamy, less intense, less fulfilling, and less adventurous.

Nautical Craftiness aboard Convivia

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 19:50:13 +0000

Years ago I stenciled a sailboat and an anchor onto shirts for Ruby and Olive. I wanted to make updated shirts for them one day so I ended up moving onto the boat with a stamp carving kit and some fabric paint. I planned to carve an anchor onto my stamp so that I could print onto fabric and notecards over and over again. A sailor friend of mine was expecting a little girl and so the inspiration and count down began.

Shine Bright!

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 22:46:49 +0000

New parents, new lovers, newly converted, people discovering a great new ashram, sport, hobby, or any other infatuation. We all share a common stigma. Most people want us to just shut up already. There is something about falling in love that puts a shine so bright on us that makes some people just want to turn us off.

What kind of trips me out about this phenomenon is that it is socially accepted that shining too brightly is annoying (at best). Like new parents who just can’t stop talking about their beautiful perfect babies are somehow rubbing the rest of our noses in it. I was that guy (okay, I’m always that guy). I couldn’t stop talking about my kids. Even now, I have to remind myself mid-emote, that the general contractor of our new headquarters really doesn’t care, he was just being polite.

Farewell to NBOG

Mon, 23 May 2011 15:26:57 +0000

This weekend we attended our last NBOG event. NBOG or Nature Based Ongoing Group, is a small community of home-schoolers and their families who strive to teach their children awareness and respect for the interdependence and interconnection of all life. In addition to being a wonderful community for Ruby NBOG has provided us with an amazing group of likeminded parents. Saying goodbye was much harder than any of us expected.

Boat Show — Day One

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 20:51:09 +0000

So much fun at the show today. Merileigh took care of the kids (awesome!) while we went on our annual date. We picked up our life raft, wind vane, epirb, foulies, keel cooler, and met our New England Ropes contact. Friends are coming over in 10 for margaritas so I’ll leave you with the photos. We’re headed back tomorrow with the kids in tow.

(Playlist) Change is in the Air

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 11:43:49 +0000

I created a playlist (Music to Kick Ass By) for my ride to work that has plenty of ampy music to help me pass all of those foldable bikes and skateboarders on The Embarcadero. A month or so later it’s getting a little repetitive. I’m going to post the current list and implore you all to contribute your favorite Ass Kicking music. Thanks in advance for the suggestions!


Name	Artist
White Knuckles	OK Go
Walking The Dog	fun.
Ventilaor R-80	Ojos De Brujo
This Too Shall Pass	OK Go
Tanguillo De María	Ojos De Brujo
Super Bon Bon	Soul Coughing
Stargate	Keller Williams
Randall	wheatus
Oceans	The Format
The Monkey Versus The Robot	Piebald
Lucy Lawcy	Keller Williams
Kiss With A Fist	Florence + The Machine
The Key	Speech Debelle
Just A Simple Plan	Piebald
It’s a Disaster	OK Go
In A Big Country	Keller Williams
I Got This Feelin'	Mates Of State
Here It Goes Again	OK Go
Ha Ha	Mates Of State
Gotta Get A Problem	Mates Of State
Good To Go	Grand Puba
A Good Idea At the Time	OK Go
Go Hard	Grand Puba
Freak On	wheatus
Fluke	Mates Of State
A Duel Will Settle This	Mates Of State
Doobie in My Pocket	Keller Williams
Dog Days Are Over	Florence + The Machine
Do What You Want	OK Go
Dando vueltas y vueltas	Hechos Contra el Decoro
Crash the Party	OK Go
Circles	Soul Coughing
Calé Barí	Ojos De Brujo
Bulería Del Ay!	Ojos De Brujo
BMX Bandits	wheatus
Blame	Soul Coughing
Benson Hedges	fun.
Barlights	fun.

Farewell Britannia

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 21:41:01 +0000

Today we helped cast off the bow lines of Britannia, Amanda and Krister’s Canadian Seacraft 36. They have begun their two year trip around the Pacific.

On November 22 I wrote this, “Last night we had a great time laughing and comparing notes with Amanda and Krister from s/v Britannia. We’re making it a habit of meeting and befriending people that are about to sail to Mexico though. I’ll have to spend some time thinking about friendship among people on the move.” Little did I know then how much fun we were getting into. We snuck our friends though our forward companionway many many times after the kids were all snug in their berths for the night. We’ve shared margaritas, bottles of wine, cups of coffee and lots of long talks, laughter, and smiles so big that our cheeks hurt.

hellO 2011

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 14:43:38 +0000

2010 was an amazing year. Among the many significant milestones were our first family cruise, the purchase of our dreamboat, the jettisoning of most of our worldly possessions to move on to said dreamboat, lost teeth, first bike rides and first ocean passage. Our transition to boat life, despite it’s smells, minimalism, and tight quarters has created a stronger, happier, more cooperative family than we had on land. 2010 looked like a very hard act to follow.

Merry Christmas from s/v Convivia

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 21:15:49 +0000

Our family doesn’t have a strong Christmas tradition. A couple of years ago we celebrated Christmas and a birthday with friends. Last year we opened presents, ate breakfast, and jumped into the car for a big drive to Los Angeles for a week long sailing trip. This year we stayed home on our boat and enjoyed spending time with friends and neighbors in our marina.

We decorated Convivia with Waldorf paper stars, white lights, and ornaments on the inside; bought, decorated, and redecorated a tiny tree that fit nicely in the middle of the table; cut dozens of paper snowflakes; lit a peppermint scented candle; and enjoyed the company of our friends in the days leading up to Christmas.

The Relationship Paradox

Thu, 23 Dec 2010 20:18:01 +0000

Amanda (of Britannia) came over last night and we got on the topic of love. Specifically “True Love” and “Soul Mates.” I have a complicated opinion on the topic of soul mates that provided good fodder for our conversation. Too soon we noticed it was midnight and had to say goodnight to our friend. As we were falling asleep I wondered aloud*:

I’m not sure how to reconcile the seemingly antithetical views I have on what makes a relationship work. On the one hand I believe that an awesome relationship demands that both partners periodically choose to remain in the relationship. On the other hand I know that it is essential to believe, with the completeness of your being, that your love is immutable. The latter, I believe, amounts to a sacred commitment to the relationship (spoken or not).

Wanderers and Planters

Wed, 22 Dec 2010 21:46:31 +0000

Life is an Adventure. There are as many ways to experience that adventure as there are (have been, and will be) people. In the interest of creating a readable post I will now slay my own pet peeve and propose this fictional dichotomy.

Imagine for a moment a world so simple that it has only two types of people. Wanderers and Planters. Each of these types are dedicated to spending their lives learning, spreading happiness, building community, making the world more beautiful, and ultimately defining their own meaning for it all. Each of them has their own distinct modality, but is one better suited to achieving the goals than the other?

Perfection vs. Done

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 07:27:59 +0000

They say that “Perfection is the Enemy of Done.” I guess I am my own worst enemy. When it comes to espresso, margaritas, and love I will not accept failure, half measure or even a half stop below perfection. I have spent years on my espresso; working and saving to buy better equipment; laboring over each shot; reading and learning wherever I could. Likewise I have spent my whole life in pursuit of love, and then in its betterment and refinement. I can be nigh obsessive about some topics.

Dreamers and Naysayers

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 22:09:50 +0000

I often hear of people getting hassled over their desire to do something powerful, bold, and intentional. As a result I spend more time than I should thinking about what I would say to these nay-sayers. Tonight my perfect answer gelled and I thought I would share it just in case it might help a dreamer out there.

Either one of us may die tomorrow. I may be swept from the decks and drowned, you may be hit by a bus on your way to work. If I succeed I will snorkel, hike, and live truly, in paradise. If you succeed you will get to work.

Who Am I?

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 20:51:36 +0000

I just got done reading Ashley Ambrige’s new e-book You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts. It’s an inspirational piece in the same vein as Chris Guillebeau’s Unconventional Guides. Both authors encourage their readers to do whatever it is that they are passionate about (though Ashley claims to be weary of the term passion). Every time I read one of these books I think, yeah, I can totally kick ass in that self motivated, self promoting, me against the big bad world way. Really, I’m perfectly wired for it… until.

Lowered Expectations

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 13:27:34 +0000

One of my favorite pre-vacation practices is to intentionally lower my expectations. I contend that I am due a single 15-60 minute “moment of bliss” somewhere in a 2+ week vacation, and if I can get that I consider the experience a success. These moments of bliss generally take the form of reading a great book in the sun on a day with light breeze.

On this last vacation I got two moments of bliss. The first (which happened twice) was when the kids were playing happily in the cabin. Vick and I were sitting in the cockpit drinking coffee, and Convivia was sailing herself under nearly perfect conditions. The second was when I took the kids to Shorebird Park to play while Vick went to the store. Both kids were having trouble with relationships. I saw at least a dozen problems at the moment before they flared up. Somehow I managed to use just the right intervention every time and their conflicts effortlessly catalyzed into new friendships and joyful spirit. I was in a zone, writing a symphony of play with them and I couldn’t have been happier or felt more accomplished.

Photo Highlights: Santa Cruz Cruise

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 15:41:22 +0000

Home

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 23:46:45 +0000

I wasn’t at home when we were tied into slip A58 in Monterey Harbor. I was homesick. Surprising yes, since I was on my own boat, tied up with my usual dock lines, cooking in my own galley, and sleeping in my own bed. I spent my time in Monterey constantly checking the three forecast areas on NOAA to find our perfect weather window to head north. Again, I was surprised at myself. The trip north is usually hard, wet, and cold. Our boat is in great shape and we could actually (foolishly) cash in Tucker’s retirement accounts and head south for at least a year. I always want to go south, or anywhere warmer than wherever I am. But I wanted to go north, to go home.

Why I Love Boat Life

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 21:01:40 +0000

There are dozens of reasons to love living on a boat. Some adore the gentle rocking as they fall to sleep; some like the gorgeous view from their cockpit and decks; some the ability to take their home on vacation with them; and others cherish the simplicity of living small. I’m sure the list goes on. For me though the thing I love most is the dockside social scene. At first I thought I had just lucked into the world’s best marina but now that we have spent a week in Santa Cruz harbor, I’m starting to believe that there is a universal chattiness amongst sailors.

September's End in Photos

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 22:17:11 +0000

Yin & Yang: Life as a Balancing Act

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 08:36:04 +0000

There has been a rash of theft in our marina lately. It started with a bunch of fishing gear getting stolen off of some power boats, but this Saturday I found my bike had been stolen. This kind of thing can really make you question the quality of the average person… until you come back from your errands to find an annoymous gift in your cockpit.

We think one of our friends down the dock left the toy castle for the kids. They had a ball playing with it but agreed that it wouldn’t fit in our boat. The next morning Ruby and Olive raced down the dock to return it and were perfectly delighted to put it back aboard Gemini.

No Better Life Than This One: Choosing Joy

Sat, 31 Jul 2010 22:21:39 +0000

Today sucked royally. I started the day saddled with the dread of a project (replacing the hot water heater) that I just knew was going to go badly. This project was going to go badly because:

I couldn’t get to all of the fittings to measure what size they were and therefore didn’t know for sure what to buy to replace them.
The old water heater may have or may not have fit out through the available hole… Oh no. It didn’t.
The beginning of the project involved cutting the safety net (all of the hoses, strapping, and electrical) thereby completely committing me to raving success or miserable failure.
The space that I had to work in was miserably small, virtually guarantying several minor concussions, gashes, and bruises (check, check, and check)
The very best that I had hoped for was to get enough done that I could safely turn on the pressure water in the evening (cold only) to do the dishes from the margaritas.

So after a grumpy breakfast, and a grumpy trip to the chandlery and the hardware store, I grumpily made by way back down the dock with not quite enough parts to complete the project, and a pretty bad attitude. I was short tempered all morning, and when I finally remeasured the new hot water heater and found that it was something like 10" too tall for the space it was going into, I was pretty certain that I was going to go stratospheric. When I then remeasured the old heater and found that there was no possible way to get it out without removing the countertop, I thought I would cry.

No Better Life Than This One: Reevaluating My Primary Relationship

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:51:35 +0000

Can critically evaluating your relationship lead to a happier healthier self while simultaneously improving the relationship?

{this moment}

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 08:56:33 +0000

A Friday ritual, inspired by Soule Mama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

4th of July Weekend in Photos

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 17:37:41 +0000

{this moment}

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 07:00:12 +0000

Becoming A Man

Tue, 18 May 2010 08:23:15 +0000

From time to time I am reminded that my culture has no coming of age tradition. Some of the effects of this deficit are subtle, some more obvious. This weekend, as I near my 35th birthday I experienced another Man Making Moment. Man Making Moments are different for everyone. I suspect many are like me and derive some significant part of their manliness ideal from their fathers. For me, the image of my dad under the hood, fixing, tuning and explaining our car’s inner workings, has left a mark.

A Working Vacation

Sun, 09 May 2010 22:03:33 +0000

This is the first chance I’ve had to sit down at my computer in six days. When in the last 15 years have I been able to say that?

This vacation was certainly unique. Since it was a last minute (we decided at lunch two days before departing) decision, the expectations were low. Regardless, none of us were prepared for the highs and lows of this last week.

On the high side:

Bad Neighbors

Sat, 24 Apr 2010 15:20:40 +0000

Back in our wild youth we had this neighbor (Douglas Robbins) who was getting into producing documentaries. Before he moved on he made this video staring (amongst others) us. In case you don’t know by watching, its farcical… though Vick can make 16 different muffins without processed flour.

Winning the Lottery

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:49:04 +0000

On the way to work this morning Victoria suggested that we play the lottery. “Its $166 million today, seems like a good time.” Now understand, we don’t play the lottery to win, that’s just crazy talk. We play for entertainment value. When we were younger we would go out an drop a cool Washington on a ticket and then spend all night talking about our fantasy future. As we got older, and started to live that fantasy, we did this less often. Still, a couple times a year, the mood strikes us and we splurge.

Are the Kids ready?

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 23:03:29 +0000

If you’ve been wondering how the kids feel about this transition…

[cue cheesy infomercial voice] …and if you liked “going marina” you’ll love some of these other instant classics.

“I can’t wait to tell Anika about Oakland, there’s so many things to see” — Ruby

“Me going to live on a sailboat… with no bathtub” — Olive

“I’m not sure which of my things I’m going to sell quite yet, but I’ll think about it” — Ruby (spontaneously)

Feeling Inspired

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:12:43 +0000

Despite the boat related disappointment this weekend I’ve found myself unexpectedly inspired, motivated, and empowered these last two days. Vick linked me up to the blog of a nomadic family (Happy Janssens) last night, and I kinda went link crazy, hopping around to a bunch of similar blogs. These families’ stories have been a balm on my chapped spirit. This morning the kids and I sat around watching videos from various blogs showing their kids living happy, nomadic, unschooling lives. True our adventure is just where we left it on Friday, but somehow we all feel closer to it.

QUIET FEET: Harmony Restored

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 21:13:35 +0000

Yesterday we woke up before 5am for the 14th consecutive day. Our parenting style dictates that we just roll with this, as unnatural and seemingly untenable as it is. Vick and I believe that its our responsibility to call it a night so that we can rise with the kids (see my earlier article for more on this). So we’ve been dutifully rising and shining at 4-5am and using lattes to get us through the week.

The Victory of Providence Over Planning

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:12:42 +0000

“It looks like the rain has let up a bit, should we make a run for it?” I asked, equivocating. “Its probably as good as any time,” Dad replied.

We had been enduring monsoon rains for hours, holed up first at the Cafe del Mar and later at Abba. It was getting late and we still had to pack.

So we made a dash for it and, as if cued by some rueful sadistic god, the rain intensified. Too late to change course, we soldiered into the torrent. Dad helped my pull my bike out of the muddy garbage heap. I was ankle deep in brown water and suddenly grateful that I was: a) wearing my sandals; and b) immunized against Hep A.

Living in the Moment or Denial is the Lesser Part of Valor

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:43:16 +0000

Our trip is winding to a close. Tomorrow at 5:30 am we will hop in a taxi and with any luck be taken to a train station where we will be whisked away to Cochin. We’ll check our bags at the airport and then spend the day wandering around Cochin. By 8:30pm we will be on a plane to Mumbai and from there it will be only a few hours before we are on our way to California.

Counter Planning - Gaming the System

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:38:29 +0000

Today’s plan was to make no plans. In completely surrendering the very most basic of control we hoped to avoid the loss of control that seems to be the norm here. It was an ingenious counter-plan if I may be permitted the immodesty, and it worked like a charm.

We started the day by puttering over to Varkala Beach. We asked around in the shops for a wooden printing block, and were told that we would have to go to Trivandrum for that.

Varkala to Kovalam - or Close Enough

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:21:08 +0000

We had a tasty breakfast at the local + organic ABBA restaurant (where, I kid you not, they play non-stop Abba), and then headed out for coffee and an Internet fix.

I have to admit that the power surge that blew up my laptop power supply was pretty annoying, but i still managed to get over it after a few minutes. The downside to this is that I will be typing all of my posts on my iPhone from here on out (please forgive the typos), and l will have to be more stingy with photos.

A Royal (Enfield) Adventure

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:31:02 +0000

After getting situated in our hotel room, the first order of business was to get a couple of motorcycles so we might regain a modicum of control over our adventure. Dad had an aesthetic interest in the Royal Enfield. So we asked our host if he could arrange such a thing. After a little back and forth on the details he went off to see what he could do. A few minutes later he came back with the details and within 30 minutes we were staring at two of the most beaten up bikes left in India. The first Royal Enfield bikes were built in India in 1955, and I suspect that ours were from the first batch.

Bangalore to Varkala

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 05:51:46 +0000

We left Bangalore last night on an overnight train. We were joined in our sleeper (2AC) car by two guys who were heading to Cochin for a business meeting. After chatting for a while they started making recommendations for our next few days. “You must go to Varkala” they pressed “You will find nice people there and its not too busy”. We chatted a bit longer and then settled in to read the guide books. Dad and I both picked a few hotels that looked good and then hit the hay.

Shopping in India

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 05:31:40 +0000

We knew that we sucked at haggling, and I’ve been fairly warned that Westerners have a harder than average time getting a good price without an Indian to support them, but for some reason I held out hope. After seeing the big smiles on three different wallah’s faces, I knew I had been well and truly bested.

I am totally okay with that though. Shopping in Mysore has been a total joy. “Come in, sit down. I will pour you and your father some tea” sings the merchant in the Silk Museum. “This is your son?”, he asks my father. “Your father has been here 3 times already, we have much respect for him, I will give you special price.” Good Lord, I’m in for it already and I haven’t even looked at the merchandise yet.

TEDIndia Recommendations

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 04:26:24 +0000

I’m staying in Mysore now, at the lovely Green Hotel. If you happen to be visiting Mysore, I can’t recommend it highly enough. I am still processing the conference and trying to sort out what it all means, and how what I learned there will change me and my course. The one thing I can be sure of is that it has changed me. The speakers, naturally, were (mostly) all amazing, but what really pulled the whole event together were the attendees. From the moment I stepped out of the registration I was greeted by one warm, generous, and engaging person after another. As the conference proceeded, little networks began to form. One new friend would introduce me to another until I felt I knew every like minded person in the thousand person audience.

Arriving in India

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 09:17:52 +0000

The flight to Mumbai was as sublimely pleasant as the long haul to Hong Kong had been. It wasn’t until we started our descent that the uncertainty started to set in. Looking down on the city from the approach path you see slums everywhere with occasional stands of sky scrapers sprouting up amongst them. We landed and disembarked and things were pretty predictable until we reached the last turn before the elevator that descended to the H1N1 screening area. Blood curdling screams reached up to assault us and I could have sworn that someone was being tortured. Rounding the corner I was relieved to identify the owner of the tormented bellow. She couldn’t have been more than 2 years old. My relief was instantaneous. A universal sympathy connected me to her parents and I alighted the escalator with a small smile. The customs and immigration process was a tremendous press of bodies. The bodies combined with the unfamiliarity of the language to dispossess me of my remaining emotional energy. I was running on empty.

Why Tweet

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 07:58:41 +0000

In a recent comment my buddy Dave asked:

“Okay. I have a question I’ve been meaning to ask, even see if you would write a blog post on it. This seems like an opportune time. Why Twitter? I don’t get it. Am I not understanding something fully? It seems like one more digital distraction in my day. I’ve got enough on my plate as it is. But the rate at which people use it makes me think its not going away as fast as I once thought.

Humans Suck at Estimating Modern Odds

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:19:03 +0000

Bruce Schnier has given a similar talk in years past that I just loved. This one is Dan Gilbert talking at TED Global on the topic of how our ability to estimate risk/odds/value/etc. in our modern context just sucks.

I don’t easily stoop to using other people’s content on my blog, so please do cut me some slack on this one. Its just too important to paraphrase!

CupcakeCamp 2009

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 21:31:33 +0000

Today started off just like any other Sunday. We scrambled around to get dressed and ready for the Coffee Social and then to get Vick out the door to the Farmer’s Market. All of our friends came over for coffee and much fun was had. Then at 11:30 we kicked everyone out so we could hop a train to San Francisco.

We caught the 12:19 train to SF and hoofed it to Automatic @ Pier 38. We arrived just a few minutes before the Camp started and there was already a line out the door. At 2 (on the nose) the line started moving and within a few minutes we were all crowding the tables for the first round of cupcakes. Ruby and I opted for Taro cupcakes and I was quite surprised that I really liked it. Vick stood at table 3 and waited for the Cheesecake cupcakes but they never came.

Competition and the Ride Home

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:08:57 +0000

I have never considered myself to be a competitive person. Perhaps at one point I wasn’t, or perhaps I’ve just been deluding myself all this time. The first indisputable proof that I am indeed a competitive person came when I started riding my bike to work on a regular basis*. I noticed after only a few weeks that I just could not tolerate being passed, and had an unquenchable thirst to pass others.

TED India and Beyond

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 22:47:28 +0000

While I was on vacation, I received word that I had been invited to be a guest at TED India 2009. Tonight I completed the registration and made it official. My tickets are purchased and plans are being laid.

When I mentioned to my dad that I was almost certainly going to India, he told me that he had always wanted to go and got this far away look in his eye. I instantly extended an invitation to him, hoping that he would accept, but aware that it was a big lift for him. I was happily surprised when my Mom started to encourage him and he gradually agreed that this was the chance of a lifetime. Of course my parents have this habit of dreaming about things in a way that looks to outsiders like resolve, so I was optimistically skeptical until last week when we bought our plane tickets.

East Coast Family Vacation 2009

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 12:33:41 +0000

We just returned from a truly wonderful vacation. I took the family back East (Boston, Portland, Round Pond) for almost the whole month of August. We saw most of our family, got to welcome baby Jacob into the world, and many of our oldest friends.

It was a true vacation in every sense. The children both came into their own. Ruby, discovering her roll in our family (nuclear and extended), found her inner sweetness (best self) and showed an unexpected degree of maturity, self reliance, and empathy. This was best expressed when she was shepherding her sister around, pointing out dangers, explaining tricks and relationships, and helping her get her needs met.

Trying Out SnapShots

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 10:18:24 +0000

UPDATE:
Based on feedback from @reese and Victoria, and my general sense that I was just doing this to avoid writing about something more interesting, I have removed the Snap plugin from this site. Phew. Read on if you must…

…I am trying out snap.com’s snapshots. Snapshots add seemingly cool mouseover popups to my links. . I’m interested to hear what my readers think? Is this intrusive, annoying, helpful. Please comment!

I Am A Radiant Being

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 22:16:09 +0000

Okay, I’m going to come right out and say this cheesy thing that sometimes runs through my mind. I am a radiant being. This is not to say that I am radiant and some other people are dull. I suspect that we are all radiant. In any case, that’s not the point of this post. This is the point. I want to believe that what I do for money is just one aspect of who I am, and what makes me valuable in this life.

Admitting Failure

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 10:10:29 +0000

I put this Title in my drafts folder on June 12th. Its been sitting there taunting me ever since. Then on Wednesday I attended a session at OSCON titled “Programmer Insecurity & The Genius Myth”. Ben Collins-Sussman and Brian Fitzpatrick talked to us about how our fear of looking like an idiot or not being taken seriously, or hubris, prevents us from admitting failure.

The following are my thoughts on this topic, which have recently been influenced and enhanced by Ben and Brian.

Throw a Party, Invite the World

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 11:53:44 +0000

Years ago Victoria and I heard about a long standing Bay Area soup night. The premise is that the host makes a big pot of soup and invites anyone to come eat. Some people bring other food, others just eat. Since there is no controlling who came there are endless possibilities for social and intellectual cross-pollination . This idea settled deep into my consciousness and made a home. I’ve been carrying it with me for years, and talking about it from time to time.

Sunday Morning Coffee Social

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:50:05 +0000

For the longest time after moving to California, Vick and I were convinced that this was a state (or at least a region) that seriously undervalued community. We were more than a little surprised to find, once Victoria got pregnant, that their was this completely amazing virtual community of parents hidden, Hogwarts style, from our view all that time.

Now years after our first child was born, we’re grateful to be surrounded by wonderful and supportive friends (some even without children), and a strong community. So partly as a celebration of that good fortune, and partly to bolster and encourage a stronger sense of community, we’ve started to hold a weekly Coffee Social.