Funny on Forgeover

Goodnight ManVan (in memoriam)

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 21:50:12 +0000

ManVan, I salute you. You drove a ton of boat stuff down from Washington, saving us hundreds on U-Haul. Then you helped us move from Mountain View to Emery Cove. You were there for shuttling stuff back and forth to the marina, and you’ve served us faithfully all these months as our nearby no-cost storage unit. When you wouldn’t start for me last weekend, I understood. You’ve been neglected, your fuel had been left too long, your headlights were probably left on by young, curious fingers.

Olive Takes a Shot

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 20:05:04 +0000

Just you know, he insisted on doing this. It was completely unprompted.

Knock Knock

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 16:00:13 +0000

Olive: “Knock Knock”

Me: “Who’s there?”

Olive: “Banana”

Me: “Banana Who”

Olive: “Aren’t you glad I didn’t say Orange?”

At this point I’m thinking, at least he got the right fruit in there but Olive scrunches up his forehead as I fake laugh and says “Daddy what’s the real joke?” So I decided to humor him again.

Me: “Knock knock”

Olive: “Who’s there?”

Me: “Banana.”

Olive: “Banana who?”

Me: “Knock knock”

Guns

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 21:54:12 +0000

Olive: “You know what this is daddy?”

Me: " No Olive, what is that" (she’s holding two paint stirrers)

Olive: “Its a gun for catching gooses and ducks with fire and steam”

Me: “Buddy, do you think you’re old enough for a gun?”

Olive: “Oh yeah, Im a very big girl. Very tall”

Me: “Okay then i guess you’re big enough to go to bed without nursing then?”

Olive: “Aye Aye”

Dad Life

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 14:07:19 +0000

Thought this was pretty funny.

Thanks to this article by the super funny and entertaining Janna Cawrse Esarey for hooking me up with this video.

Pre-K Geography

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 06:50:05 +0000

Believe it or not this was spontaneous. I have no idea how Olive knew where the pirates are or where Hawaii is. I guess unschooling is working for our family.

Are the Kids ready?

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 23:03:29 +0000

If you’ve been wondering how the kids feel about this transition…

[cue cheesy infomercial voice] …and if you liked “going marina” you’ll love some of these other instant classics.

“I can’t wait to tell Anika about Oakland, there’s so many things to see” — Ruby

“Me going to live on a sailboat… with no bathtub” — Olive

“I’m not sure which of my things I’m going to sell quite yet, but I’ll think about it” — Ruby (spontaneously)

The Blue Bunny — Olive' First (collaborative) Story

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:58:50 +0000

We had a really first rate dinner at Amber tonight. When we arrived (at 5:15), there was one other family there and we were seated in the very back corner of the room reserved for families with little kids that look like trouble. Ruby was wearing her pink flower rain boots, mini-skirt, and a blue tee-shirt. Olive was sporting the ripped play pants and a dinosaur shirt. I really can’t blame them for seating us in the back corner, and it did nothing to dampen our enjoyment of the meal. The waitstaff positively doted over Olive. She played it cool, not answering their questions, but turning around to gawk at them when they walked away.

Ruby Sings About Respect

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:34:34 +0000

This is a slightly old video of Ruby singing a song she invented about respect. I love that as she’s singing it she grabs her brother and won’t let go of him when he yelps. Luckily she does let go when I ask her, so it seems as though she respects me, but not Mr. M.. Enjoy…

… “This land was made for you and me.”

Bacon or Meatballs, What Makes a Better Sundae?

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 08:15:35 +0000

I haven’t actually read this book, but I found the title intriguing. The title suggests that if you aren’t paying attention to your customers needs, then you may find yourself putting whipped cream and a cherry on a meatball. When I read the title, I had two strong and immediate impressions.

First, “yuck.” I said it out loud. Ruby, of course, asked what I was talking about. I told her the title, and asked if she would like a meatball sundae. “No way,” she replied " I would want a meatball plain and cherries and whipped cream plain too."

Ruby Writes a Story

Wed, 06 May 2009 08:43:19 +0000

Once upon a time a bunny was hiding in a bush. It was sunny then started to rain. Butterflies came. A pig came. The pig was pink. She needed something to eat, but she couldn’t find anything so she kept looking. She smelled something good. It was a carrot. The bunny tried to find a carrot too but she found the pig’s carrot. The pig wanted the carrot and they couldn’t work it out so the bunny kept walking and found another carrot. It wasn’t anyone’s so she ate it all up.

Ruby Solved the Global Pirate Problem

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:07:40 +0000

After days of contemplation and discussion, I believe that Ruby has finally solved the pirate problem, for everyone.

Ruby: I know, lets make a flag with a cake on it. I’ll make my favorite cake (chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and sprinkles and flowers on top) and we’ll put the flag up. Then the pirates will know that we have cake and they can come over and eat it. Then they will like us and won’t eat us or take our boat.

Ruby Dispatches Pirates

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 23:08:37 +0000

While we were eating dinner tonight (hamburgers… yes its relevant) the subject of pirates came up. Ruby is very concerned about pirates, and how they might steal her or eat her. She asked what we were going to do about pirates, so we (of course) took the opportunity to turn the question around…

Parent: Do you have any ideas Ruby?

Ruby (immediately) : I know, we could make a note that says “Pirates don’t steal our boat”, and we could put it in a bottle and send it to them, and then they wouldn’t steal our boat.

Ruby and the Jedi Mind Trick

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:36:25 +0000

It all started last weekend when Ruby and Anika started angling for a sleepover
No Ru, you didn’t have a nap today and it just wouldn’t be a good idea, Vick calmly states.
I will have a sleepover, Ruby corrects.
Ruby, listen to your moma, she said no, says I.
Daddy, Anika and I will have a sleepover tonight, she insists

I don’t know exactly how it happened but the next thing we know Jennifer is trying to figure out how to ride three kids home on her bike, and we were all happily joking about the padawan in our midst. The force is strong with this one. After three or four more successful executions of her new skill, I felt compelled to impress upon her that no sometimes does mean no. You can guess how that went.