Victoria

My face and belly are radiating that kind of inside out warmth that comes from a day of doing all ones favorite things. I don’t mean to lead my readers to believe that today was easy. The children were on again off again unmanageable and Victoria was regularly overwrought by her prognostication that, due to said children, and an unfortunately poor choice of words on my part the night before, she didn’t know if “this was going to work.” (She was of course referring to the Big Trip.) Normally when my family is assaulted by this severe a maelstrom I am emotionally and pragmatically debilitated for the duration. The whole of my attention is consumed trying to determine what I am going to do about it. ...

We had a really first rate dinner at Amber tonight. When we arrived (at 5:15), there was one other family there and we were seated in the very back corner of the room reserved for families with little kids that look like trouble. Ruby was wearing her pink flower rain boots, mini-skirt, and a blue tee-shirt. Olive was sporting the ripped play pants and a dinosaur shirt. I really can’t blame them for seating us in the back corner, and it did nothing to dampen our enjoyment of the meal. The waitstaff positively doted over Olive. She played it cool, not answering their questions, but turning around to gawk at them when they walked away. ...

We’ve really needed a relaxing family vacation for a while, and with time counting down to the big trip, we also need to make sure that the family is up for extended sailing. Last night, after weeks of thinking about these two items individually a plan popped into my head that married both of these concerns into a harmonic union. This morning I asked Ruby if she would like to go sailing for the week after Christmas. She asked a bunch of probing questions – “Can I bring my dolls?” and “What will we do about pirates” – and when she was satisfied with the answers, wholeheartedly supported the plan. ...

We just returned from a truly wonderful vacation. I took the family back East (Boston, Portland, Round Pond) for almost the whole month of August. We saw most of our family, got to welcome baby Jacob into the world, and many of our oldest friends. It was a true vacation in every sense. The children both came into their own. Ruby, discovering her roll in our family (nuclear and extended), found her inner sweetness (best self) and showed an unexpected degree of maturity, self reliance, and empathy. This was best expressed when she was shepherding her sister around, pointing out dangers, explaining tricks and relationships, and helping her get her needs met. ...

Years ago Victoria and I heard about a long standing Bay Area soup night. The premise is that the host makes a big pot of soup and invites anyone to come eat. Some people bring other food, others just eat. Since there is no controlling who came there are endless possibilities for social and intellectual cross-pollination . This idea settled deep into my consciousness and made a home. I’ve been carrying it with me for years, and talking about it from time to time. ...

I started out the day, as I do most every Sunday, with the Coffee Social. Since the kids are finally over the chicken-pox we had a great turnout, and I got to spend most of the morning lounging around with coffee, chocolate crossiants, and friends. Early naps provided a little needed excuse to read more of my latest addiction . Somewhere around 4 we packed up our things and headed over to Hidden Villa for the Banana Slug String Band’s Annual Father’s Day concert. I don’t know why I love this event so much. Maybe its sitting on the most lucious green organic lawn in the world, embraced by mountains all around. Maybe its the huge jar of margaritas Vick brought. Perhaps its the happy kids (myself included) running around without a care in the world. Whatever it is, I really look forward to this event. Every year I meet a couple of other dads that seem genuinely happy to be fathers. ...

Last night after the kids went to bed Vick whipped up a batch of Oreo analogs that are so good that they may simultaneously cure cancer and bring peace to the world. Since words can not describe their splendor, I’m attaching a photo. If you’re in the US, I recommend stopping by.

Basically, what I’ve learned so far boils down to this. Parenting is not so much about managing your children, as it is about managing yourself. For example, in our family the kids wake up every morning (in the winter) at 6:30. 6:30 wake up calls make me a bit grumpy, so I could either: a) yell at the kids to leave me alone or; b) go to sleep earlier so that I’m not so tired at 6:30. ...

When we were over at our friends house a few weeks ago ruby fell in love with a nightgown. Last week Ruby and Vick went fabric shopping and by Friday, Ruby had her first nightgown. I think its quite the item.

Victoria and I built a secret garden in our back “yard” yesterday. Vick has been talking about this for a few weeks/months now and the weather and my new found productivity finally converged in a favorable way. I can’t wait to see what it looks like in bloom.

Tonight I said goodbye to Kristy our hair stylist of 10 years. It was – oddly – the hardest thing I’ve done in quite a while. Carma Hair Company is in San Bruno, a one hour drive during rush hour. We have been commuting between thirty minutes and one hour for about seven years, and it just got to be too much to justify. What we’re saying goodbye to is a salon that treats its customers like extended family, and the easy comfort of a big thanksgiving dinner. I’m going to miss the playful banter, what-ifs and did-you-hears that every trip promised. Goodbye Carma, I hope to be back someday!